CollegeHumor: Syracuse Articles http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794698 This Week In History: November 12th-18th, 2109 A.D. (BROUGHT TO YOU BY PEOPLE.COM!) Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794698 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-11-20 12:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 6 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794323 This Week In History: November 5th-11th, 2109 A.D. Fri, 13 Nov 2009 12:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794323 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-11-13 12:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 11 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794157 If Videogame Characters Used Netflix Thu, 12 Nov 2009 15:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794157 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-11-12 15:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 19 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794021 This Week In History: October 29th-November 4th, 2109 A.D. Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:00:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794021 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-11-06 12:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 10 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793661 This Week In History: October 22nd-28th, 2109 A.D. Fri, 30 Oct 2009 11:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793661 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-10-30 11:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 3 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793440 Open Mic Night at the Kennel Club Wed, 28 Oct 2009 12:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793440 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. Because she's an excellent tracker."

"Did you hear that thing about President Obama this week? Me too. Of course I didn't understand it, because I'm a dog!"

"I hate flying. It's the worst. Every time my Master does it, I get left in a kennel or with his sister."

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-10-28 12:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 13 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793302 This Week In History: October 15th-21st, 2109 A.D. Fri, 23 Oct 2009 12:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793302 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-10-23 12:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 9 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792919 This Week In History: October 8th-14th, 2109 A.D. Fri, 16 Oct 2009 12:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792919 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-10-16 12:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 12 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792736 What Homecoming Week Will Be Like When We're Old Wed, 14 Oct 2009 15:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792736 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-10-14 15:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 28 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792589 This Week In History: October 1st-7th, 2109 A.D. Fri, 09 Oct 2009 13:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792589 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-10-09 13:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 8 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792259 This Week In History: September 24th-30th, 2109 A.D. Fri, 02 Oct 2009 12:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1792259 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-10-02 12:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 18 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1791740 This Week In History: September 14th-20th, 2109 A.D. Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1791740 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Tuesday, September 15th: On this day 100 years ago, Our Benevolent World Government, then known as "Facebook", reached the milestone of 300 million users, and reported its first net quarterly profit. Praise be to Our Wise Leader, Emperor Mark Zuckerberg.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-09-24 14:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 8 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1791464 This Week on the History Channel's Misleadingly Titled Comedies Mon, 21 Sep 2009 18:28:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1791464 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-09-21 18:28:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 196 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790873 Teddy Roosevelt Shops at the Abercrombie & Fitch of Today Fri, 11 Sep 2009 12:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790873 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>


"[Company founder David T. Abercrombie's] love for the outdoors was his inspiration for founding Abercrombie & Co., dedicated to producing high-end gear for hunters, fishermen, campers, and explorers...Abercrombie outfitted Teddy Roosevelt's trips to the Amazon as well as Robert Peary's famous trip to the North Pole." (McBride, Dwight A., Why I Hate Abercrombie & Fitch: Essays On Race and Sexuality, p. 62-64)


The setting: a present-day Abercrombie & Fitch store. Teddy Roosevelt enters.

Salesguy: What's up.

Teddy Roosevelt: TURN DOWN THE VOLUME.

Salesguy: Huh?

Teddy Roosevelt: ON YOUR VICTROLA. I HAVE TO SHOUT JUST TO HEAR MY OWN VOICE.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-09-11 12:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 74 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790558 There's Orientation, and then there's Semester At Sea Orientation Thu, 27 Aug 2009 12:19:03 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790558 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Rollover to see how things change when you begin a Semester At Sea instead of one on dry land:

It's orientation, so everybody play name games for the next three hours.
It's orientation, so everybody play Drunk Marco Polo, until it turns into Drunk Aquatic Making Out.
It might take you a few weeks to get used to the layout of campus.
It might take you a few weeks to get used to the layout of the stars. So use the GPS until you can navigate on your own.
This will be a lot different from your high school years. You'll have to really buckle down in class.
This will be a lot different from your high school years. The previous El Niño event was back when you all were in middle school.
The grading scale for classes is as follows: A, B, C, D, F.
The grading scale for classes is as follows: happy dolphin, frowny dolphin.
Dude, Tyler is so drunk!
Dude, Tyler is so drunk, or possibly seasick!
Why are all these townies at our party?
Why are all these Somali pirates at our party?
Time to sing our school's alma mater, "Something In Latin", written by Dead White Male Alumnus.
Time to sing our school's alma mater, "I'm On A Boat", written by The Lonely Island featuring T-Pain.
I'm not sitting out in the snow to watch our football team lose again.
I'm not playing shuffleboard unless we all take body shots off of whoever wins.
We've got to slow down the fun, it's Finals Week.
We've got to slow down the fun, it's a No Wake Zone in this particular harbor.
As the Chancellor/President/Provost, I have to enforce a strict alcohol policy.
As the Captain/Admiral/Commodore, I have to enforce an alcohol policy in keeping with the rules of international waters...which means no rules at all! [whole student body cheers]
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 6 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790466 Sarah Palin Spends Some Newfound Free Time On Sporcle.com Fri, 28 Aug 2009 12:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790466 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> See how the former governor did:

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-08-28 12:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 30 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790462 I Still Want Credit For My Internship At Jurassic Park Wed, 26 Aug 2009 15:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1790462 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-08-26 15:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 18 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1789756 Similarities Between An Incoming College Freshman and One of the Settlers of Jamestown Colony Fri, 21 Aug 2009 14:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1789756 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>


You obtained some basic information about the experience before signing up, but no preliminary inquiry could tell you everything about being there.

You have a lot of unrealistic expectations about how things are going to go.

You packed everything you own and brought it with you. Upon arrival, you will realize that you don't need half of it.

You are in a strange new place. It is scenic.

You have come here because you have some money, or because your family has some money. You might also be intelligent, but either way it took serious cash to secure your place, make the trip, and arrange basic lodgings.

The organizers of this process say that your substantial investment will be profitable and make you rich, though it's not as sure of a bet as they say it is.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-08-21 14:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 30 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1789749 Las Vegas: Your Aunt Marjorie Style Fri, 14 Aug 2009 15:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1789749 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

THE STRIP

"Oh my stars, we'd never go to such a thing. The way those girls dance on the poles, with their all-together just out there---what? Oh dearie me, that's what they call the main drag? That's a strange name."
"All the lights were too much for your little cousin Norville, he's got the infant myopia ya know. We stuck to the side streets."



THE BELLAGIO HOTEL AND CASINO

"Oh they've got the best horticultural garden there ya know. I had taken a few too many spins on the two-cent slots and I was getting out of hand, so I went up there to un-fluster. It's a gardener's paradise, really."
"And an art gallery! There's an art gallery too. Nice and quiet, you can't even hear all that loud fuss down below at the casino."

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-08-14 15:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 27 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1789027 Decline and FAIL of the Roman Empire Mon, 10 Aug 2009 17:00:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1789027 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.5d9fd1d0587e03f3109216ec2d05ec20.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2009-08-10 17:00:00 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:127902">Alex Schmidt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1210"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 27 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />