John: Honestly, I have to say that I'd like to see Namor vs Aquaman.

Adam: The fish would be so confused who to listen to.

John: True. Plus, Namor is a total bastard. Either he gets the shit kicked out of him, or we get to see someone in all orange get the shit kicked out of him. It's a win-win.

Adam: Totally. Also, they have fucking tridents.

John: Dude, tridents? Screw tridents, they could hit each other with whales.

Sean: Does Namor actually wield a trident?

John: I'm sure if you gave him a trident he'd get the general idea.

Adam: Yeah, it's the whole aquatic royalty weapon... thing.

Sean: Plus, Namor has proven to have actual effectiveness above ground, as evidenced by the whole flight, super strength, and increased durability thing.

Adam: He also looks like Spock.

Sean: And he also looks like Spock.

Sean: Of course the classic example is Tony Stark
James: Agreed. Though they didn't play it up in the movie, that man is a booze fiend
Sean: "Get me a scotch, I'm starving." I think they did a good job showing his love of the bottle.

Sean: Seen it twice.
James: Seen it once but at midnight the night it came out. I was very pleased
Sean: As was I. This makes up for Bat-Skates, Bat-nipples,Bat-Airboards, and Chris O'Donnell.
James: Agreed! I thought the theme of the film was totally amazing. ...But I did have a big problem with the end.
Sean: The hero not being the hero?

Um... mulligan?

Sean: Two words: Iron-nipples
Adam: Hey man, the ladies love 'em. I think that's where male disdain for them stemmed from.
Sean: Jealousy?
Adam: Could be. Rock hard nipples all the time, can cut through glass, etc. If that doesn't get you hot I don't know what does.
Sean: My nipples cut through ass.
Adam: Trust me, I know.
Sean: Before we get too personal for the Grown-Men-In-Tights Column, lets veer back to the movies. I'm really glad to see Hollywood bigwigs willing to admit they screwed up an awesome story and take a redo, like with Hulk.

Not based on personal experience, Mom, come on, I swear!

What's the worst wrestling-related injury you've ever sustained/inflicted?

Well, thank god I haven't inflicted any kind of injury to anybody, that would sit on my conscience forever! While I was training, the worst that happened was I broke my hand. I went for a drop down and my hand bent backwards right in the middle. That was the only bad injury I've had under contract with the WWE. But 8 years ago in my first match ever, I had a partner and we did a tag move. He landed me and I went sideways on my knee and dislocated my kneecap. That hurt.

Of all your wrestling moves, what's your favorite one?

Of course my finisher! I'm still trying to think of the perfect name for it because to me, my finisher is different, it's my own. So that's my favorite, because it shows not only that its impactful, but its trademarked to me, because I do the splits!

What's the most insane fan encounter you've ever had?

Well, nothing to crazy-crazy, but a guy came up and said he was a big fan and just did a split right in front of me! And two people wanted me to autograph their arms, and then they went and tattooed it. That's the only two really different things that have happened.

But the rest of the population, maybe like a 1/15 of it, get that certain awe within them. With the day just beginning, there is so much potential; the day is just being asked to be grabbed by the vag and taken advantage of.

Below is an account of what I did on my snow day.

MORNING

9:45 - Wake up and find classes are cancelled, yay! Mutter something about the day having a vag and grabbing it.
9:51 - Fuck I can't go back to sleep. Scroll through people's away messages, nobody's awake yet.
10:00 - After making eggs, I sit down and decide to watch the Democratic debates on CNN in order to gain some sophisticaiton.
10:01 - Change the channel to Comedy Central.
10:02 - This Charlie Sheen movie is still high-brow for me, go fuck yourself Comedy Central. Go to check away messages again, nobody's awake.
10:30 - Still checking away messages.
10:35 - Change facebook status to "Dave is...lovinnn the snow yeeea."
11:00 - I'm hungry, check away messages to see if anybody wants lunch. Nope, because it's 11:00 and everybody's still asleep.

AFTERNOON

12:00 - "Hey Josh you want to go sleighriding? No, ok that's cool don't worry about it. See ya later!"
12:03 - "Hey Ken you want to go sleighriding? C'mon it'll be...ok talk to you later."
12:10 - Eat lunch alone.
12:40 - "Yoo, Cindi, you want to go sleighriding? ...What? C'mon, it'll...Whatever, who spells Cindi with two I's you dyke."
12:45 - Start masturbating to Cindi's facebook.
12:46 - Cry, take a nap.
1:30 - Plug in the old Super Nintendo and play some Mega Man X.
1:45 - Remember I suck at Mega Man X, play some Link to the Past.
1:51 - Remember I've beaten Link to the Past like 12 times before, why am I even playing this?
2:52 - Beat Legend of Zelda again, suck on that Gannondorf.
2:53 - Masturbate to Cindi's facebook, pretend that she's Princess Zelda and I'm Link.
3:00 - Decide to get a start on the weekend and do some work.
3:02 - Start playing Mega Man X again.
4:30 - FUCK YOU SIGMA.
4:31 - Contemplate the harsh realities of a lonely life.
4:33 - Change facebook status to "Dave is...can't wait for spring!1"