I swear I don’t like the Spice Girls, my mom bought those concert tickets, and I’ve only memorized a few of their songs and dance moves.

 

Oh my God, JTT is leaving Home Improvement! I need to start a petition!

 

That little redhead in Parent Trap is just as pretty and talented as the Olsen twins. Mariah Carey is great but I like having positive role models my own age too.

 

I want to be just like Taylor Hanson: singing in a band and chilling with the guys – there just aren’t enough sk8er gurls out there!

 

I wish the kid in Air Buddy would finish puberty so I’d feel less like a pedophile for liking him.

 

I wish the drummer in Hanson would start puberty so I’d feel less like a pedophile for liking him.

 

I’m glad I finally know what the word "pedophile" means, but YahooChat totally screens out creeps and Mario68 is just 14 and from Ireland, he only needs my home address to send me his picture.

 

I like this cell phone idea but I can’t fit my wallet and a whole cell phone in this teddybear backpack at the same time.

 

So what, we’re just throwing these pogs out now? This slammer is a total collector’s item!

 

What’s with the “Gisnep” before all the Aladdin cartoons?

 

Ha! Look who’s getting in PG13 movies! Suckers!

 

Wait! This Wonder Years show is set in the PAST?!

 

Wow DARE / VIP was so fun! I met a real cop and learned how much money I can make pushing drugs before I turn 13, which reminds me, I really need to work on my smoking.

 

I hate CDs they’re harder to hide in my pocket than cassettes.

 

Huh? We were supposed to be making fun of gay people all this time?! So what do we say, are we gonna start that up?

 

I’m so happy we’re making fun of gay people now, maybe everyone will forget about the blacks.

 

Rosie O’Donnell and Ellen Degeneres are so wholesome and funny!