CollegeHumor: Tufts Stuff http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1927902 Shaving Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:33:28 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1927902 Shaving nonadult comedy I figured they were the same but apparently there's a whole different style when shaving someone else's pubes. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1927902"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/6/collegehumor.665ca3795a71c6ad3647bf9635a23d26.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:24524">Dingdong</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1927902">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1777283 What they say / What they mean - Your parents one week after graduation Mon, 08 Jun 2009 20:12:06 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1777283 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> We understand the economy is terrible, don't worry honey, you'll figure it out. (We resent you for not having a job.)

You can live at home until you get on your feet. (You are a burden. Get a job)

It's OK to not know what you want to do with your life.  (Get a job. Any job.)

What did you do today? (Do you have a job yet? Get a job.)

Here's a list of things you can do to help around the house. (Here are some unnecessary taks I've created. Get a job.)

My Dad's advice was always "good things come to those who wait," hang in there kiddo.
(Grandpa died a pauper. Get a job.)

Why don't you call your old friend Trevor and see him? (He has a job. Get a job.)

We love you. (You have one week until we eat you and deny your existence.)


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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1041838"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/1/0/collegehumor.98c037810ccae9c051ea9bf0ba011f64.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1041838">Grant Hudson</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1777283">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1908325 American Values Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:31:10 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1908325 American Values nonadult comedy Legalize It! <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1908325"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/5/f/collegehumor.43e2f9d58b25c252d3796bdf3ddccbaa.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1857719">Marc Turner</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1908325">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1902077 See, its because there should be an arm there. Thu, 26 Feb 2009 00:03:55 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1902077 See, its because there should be an arm there. nonadult comedy I was just doing my reading assignment for psych, and thought the placement of the &quot;amputee&quot; label was quite humorous. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1902077"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/1/1/collegehumor.cac7ceb122bf352ad1598ee184d9c62f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1857719">Marc Turner</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1902077">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1886455 My buddy's text to his ex.... no words Fri, 31 Oct 2008 05:40:27 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1886455 My buddy's text to his ex.... no words nonadult comedy After a Halloween senior pub night, this text message has absolutely no context, nor could it be put into any context that makes any sense. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1886455"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/8/collegehumor.62d671d9c798881d917aa4c8dd490086.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:117321">Ca$hdro</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1886455">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760559 Reasons that Harrison Ford is obviously the second coming of christ. Wed, 13 Aug 2008 19:01:36 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760559 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> His mother was jewish and his father was never around


He worked as a carpenter until he gave it up for a career as an orator


He spent 6 days and 7 nights in the wilderness.

There is almost no documentation of his life until he was 31.


You love him. He knows.
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1165689"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/c/collegehumor.4f60f3197660b8b475a04f2c89153023.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1165689">Bennett</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760559">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1822362 Grosso CUM Tue, 08 Jul 2008 19:48:01 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1822362 Grosso CUM nonadult comedy You should see what happens when the bus shows up <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1822362"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/5/a/collegehumor.45e0a28526ab64c853796c4a4e81c8a4.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:24022">Seagull</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1822362">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1758093 An Increasingly Drunk Guy at a Party Reviews Movies Thu, 26 Jun 2008 18:19:29 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1758093 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

For the first installation of An Increasingly Drunk Guy atat Party Reviews Movies, we present a review of an old favorite: Independence Day.

Wait, dude, you don't like Independence Day? Are you insane,what's not to like? It's got Aliens, stuff blowing up, and Will Smith! Ok,remember when he punches the alien and goes, "Welcome to Earth." Come on, thatwas awesome! And remember how the ship had a force field. That was such a good twist!

3 Beers Later

...plus it had that other guy. You know who I'm talking about.No, dude, dude, just listen for a second, he's the one from the dinosaur movie.Jeff...Jeff...Goldblum, Jeff Goldblum! Come on, when he and Will Smith were in thatspaceship, that was so sick. And, Area 51, it was so secret and stuff, but itturned out to be a good hideout. Dude, dude! We should build a treehousetomorrow! Nah, I'm just kidding, but seriously, a treehouse would be awesome.

3 Beers Later

...ha ha ha ha! Remember when he almost crashes the ship, andhe's all like, oops! Oops! Oh man that was so funny. Hey, you dropped yourbeer. (Imitating Jeff Goldblum) Oops!See what I did there? Get it? ¼/span>Ooooops! Ooooops. I wish I could write like that.

3 Beers Later

...spaceships the size of cities! Cities dude! WE BUILT THISCITY ON ROCK AND ROLL! Ugh, I love singing. What? No. I will not quiet down ifyou don't accept that Indeplendence Day....Inemplendendence Day....Independence dayis the greatest movie of all time! Listen, I may not be able to feel my faceright now, but I could sure feel the emotion when the black guy meets up with that girl in the middle of LA.

3 Beers Later

...I love you man, I really do, but you've got it all wrong.Here, let me call my ex-girlfriend. Jenny! Jeeeeeeeny! Remember that scenewhere the guy flys his plane into the spaceship? Wasn't that bitchin? No,its...it's Rob. Hey, do you want to come over to my place later to watch it or something?

3 Beers Later

...screw you! The president was the guy from the Might Ducks!Look it up, I'm so much smarter in movies than you are. It is him! How elsewould he have used the Flying V do defeat the space monsters. I'm awesome!

3 Beers Later

...(Words inaudible. Sounds of vomit hitting both thetoilet, and the bathroom floor.)


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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1672079"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/7/9/collegehumor.637502f774527f751e095cb9ab366e48.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1672079">Brian Agler</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1758093">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1819355 I'll be looking for this place on Halloween Fri, 13 Jun 2008 02:17:24 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1819355 I'll be looking for this place on Halloween nonadult comedy This was on a Burger King Bathroom sign in Hawaii. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1819355"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/1/9/collegehumor.c2d47c91e1d0b5afd4f51409455ee323.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:24524">Dingdong</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1819355">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1752381 Your Random Hook-Up Translated Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:48:47 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1752381 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Don't worry, we just broke up.
We're going to break up once he/she finds out about this.
I need to wake up early.
You need to leave after I'm done.
Have you been tested?
You should probably go get tested now.
Last night was kind of a blur, huh?
You looked a lot better at the bar.
We should hang out again.
We should hook up again.
I definitely feel a spark between us.
What's your name again?
Can you put your number in my phone?
What's your name again?
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:356"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/d/collegehumor.e464c2c03ccab951de6330bd6e59b571.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-04-03 14:48:47 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:356">Neil Padover</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 78 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1809421 The Hills Spec Script Mon, 31 Mar 2008 22:49:42 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1809421 The Hills Spec Script nonadult comedy <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1809421"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/d/collegehumor.8101132dfdc1dba447b97edd14e59bc7.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:356">Neil Padover</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1809421">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751568 Tyson's Choice Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:03:03 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751568 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:356"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/d/collegehumor.e464c2c03ccab951de6330bd6e59b571.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:356">Neil Padover</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1751568">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1805163 What a deal! Wed, 05 Mar 2008 11:04:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1805163 What a deal! nonadult comedy What a deal! sale, headline, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1805163"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/f/1/collegehumor.9a94473f05d7559e7a925681cc995788.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1053278">Brian</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 41 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1803645 Clone-ye West. Wed, 27 Feb 2008 10:13:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1803645 Clone-ye West. nonadult comedy Clone-ye West. celebrity look alike, kanye west, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1803645"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/3/collegehumor.7271a82ca614e295b74ec8b3d289a5ba.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:24524">Dingdong</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 25 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1750010 Dear Beechwood State - RE: Brian Ackerson's Acceptance Tue, 19 Feb 2008 08:26:23 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1750010 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> To Whom It May Concern in the Admissions Office of Beechwood State University:

I am writing to provide supplementary information for one of your recently accepted students, Brian Ackerson. I am sure that your staff in the admissions office is nothing but skilled at determining which potential applicants would make great contributions to your University, however, I have to say that in this case you were gravely wrong. Having known Brian for the past sixteen years, and serving as his resident best friend up until just last week I feel extremely qualified to be testifying to his character.

Firstly, Brian is a notorious bed wetter. He has been able to keep it under wraps for quite some time as the problem only afflicts him at night while asleep. I fear, however, that should Brian share a dorm with another student, and for instance share a bunk bed with said student at Beechwood, this would surely create urine stained havoc for all parties involved.

When Brian and I were in the third grade he forgot to study for an important math test featuring all of the multiplication tables. So he cheated. He pulled out his flash cards from his backpack, placed them inside his desk, and cheated. Like an animal.

Also, when Brian and I were five years old he pushed me off the monkey bars causing me to withstand a very badly scraped knee which required two bandaids. Not only did Brian fail to apologize but after he pushed me he whispered in my ear that he was a communist. And that he was involved in JFK's assassination. And I think Abraham Lincoln's.

I am aware how all of this sounds. With a little research you may even hear other parties telling you that I have some sort of axe to grind, and that this is the reason for my letter. Nothing could be further from the truth. I assure you with the utmost confidence that Brian's recent make-out session with my ex-girlfriend Suzie Porchnik, a girl who I dated for three and a half years, and whom I was madly in love with, and who, realistically speaking Brian should have known to stay away from, even if we had decided to break up after the summer - I assure you this has nothing to do with my letter.

I trust you will make the right decision in withdrawing Brian Ackerson's acceptance to your University and in never making him your best friend since, clearly, he has zero track record when it comes to trust.

Thank you for your time,

Alan Smilovitz

P.S. Could you send me a Beechwood sweatshirt? Go Cougars!

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:356"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/d/collegehumor.e464c2c03ccab951de6330bd6e59b571.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:356">Neil Padover</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1 like </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1802393 that guy does europe part 4 Fri, 15 Feb 2008 23:37:03 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1802393 that guy does europe part 4 nonadult comedy <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1802393"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/e/5/collegehumor.b26f5d3e4f8365bc67a76cc56193f27f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:24022">Seagull</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1802393">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1802392 that guy does europe part 3 Fri, 15 Feb 2008 23:35:41 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1802392 that guy does europe part 3 nonadult comedy <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1802392"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/6/collegehumor.6d845d68f610c8c2bbe406865d14160a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:24022">Seagull</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1802392">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1802391 that guy does europe part 2 Fri, 15 Feb 2008 23:34:54 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1802391 that guy does europe part 2 nonadult comedy <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1802391"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/2/collegehumor.387f2e08d0e51a88b35a3092a560c0fd.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:24022">Seagull</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1802391">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1749813 Perez Hilton Blogs Through History Fri, 15 Feb 2008 12:22:05 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1749813 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Seriously...we will buy you a cheeseburger


Arrested again?? Next time you should protest bad fashion instead of suffrage


Further in the closet than last year's puffy white wigs...blech


The titanic pics we got yesterday...drama queens...get over yourself and your publicity starved selves and start paddling


This is just awful...he was such a great P(e)REZ...haha...LOL bitches






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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:356"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/d/collegehumor.e464c2c03ccab951de6330bd6e59b571.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:356">Neil Padover</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 3 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1749273 The Clintons Are At It Again Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:34:03 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1749273 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:356"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/d/collegehumor.e464c2c03ccab951de6330bd6e59b571.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-02-05 14:34:03 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:356">Neil Padover</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:540"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 2 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />