CollegeHumor: UC Davis Articles http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776921 letter of Rec(ommendation) Nightmare Thu, 04 Jun 2009 19:48:38 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776921 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Day 1
Youstop your professor after class ends. Yeah,you're nervous, but it can't be that bad, can it?
You: Hey Professor!  Um, I waswondering if you co--
Professor:  I'm sorry, I haveto go to a meeting.  Could you just stop by my office hours?
You: Um, yeah, sure.  When arethey--
your professor has already left theroom.  Yay.
 
Letters: 1, you: 0

Day 2
You go to your professor's office hoursat 8 in the AM to ask him to write you a letter and notice a sign on the door.
Sign:  Office hourscanceled--family emergency.
Great.

Letter: 2, You: 0

Day 3
Well you sure aren't about to ask him inclass again and he doesn't have office hours today. You realize you have to getup at 8 in the AM again.

Letter: 3, You: 0

Day 4
It's 8 AM again and here you are, sittingoutside your Professor's office.  He's not here.

Letter: 4, You: 0

Day 4, 22 minutes later
Your professor finally shows up(late)  but it's OK because here is your chance!
Professor:  Come on in, how canI help you?
You:  Hi professor.  Um Iwas just kinda wondering if you could, um, like, you know, right me a letter?
Professor:  A letter for what?
You're kinda of nervous here.  Whatif he says no?  Then you're really royally screwed.
You:  A letter of Rec...theprofessor looks at you kind of odd.  Clearly he does not understand thefine art of slang...a Letter of Recommendation.  I'm applying for gradschool (medical school?  Law school?Some other type of school that needs stupid letters?  Take your pick)
Professor:  Well, let mesee.  What's your name again?
you've had this professor for the lastthree quarters and he still doesn't know your name.  great.
You: (insert name)
The professor just sort of looks at you for a second.  You wonder if youhave syrup on your face or something.
You:  I'm in your History139 (insert some smart sounding class) class.
The professor continues to stare...geez really?
You:  And I had your History150 (insert some other really smartclass) and History 142 (yet anotherbrilliant-sounding one) before.
Clearly, he doesn't remember you. Well this is just getting better and better.
Professor:  Right, I thinkI recognize your face.  Do you have a sample of your writing for me to lookat (woops reads all over your face)? How about information on the programs you're applying for (well shit I didn't think of that)?  A list of accomplishmentsor things you would like me to highlight (ohmygodare you serious?  You needed that???)
You:  Um...(you need to think quick here) no, but Ican bring all that stuff to you if you'd like.
Professor:  That would begreat.  I have office hours on Monday, could you drop it off then?
More office hours.  Does he notrealize that my first class isn't until 11 and his stupid office hours are from8 to 9?
You:  Sure, I'll do that.

Letter: 5, You: 0

Day 5
Yup, this is a Friday.  No office hours.  Got to wait untilMonday.  Holy crap...you're supposed to give them a month to writethem.  It's already been a week dealing with this guy!  He better notwrite me a bad letter because of this...$#!^$^@

Letter: 6, You: 0

Day 6
Saturday...all you did was lay aroundand had a party.

Day 7
Ok...I had to find all that stuff hewanted.  It's a good thing I kept my old papers from his class.  It'sa bad thing my roommate threw up on it last night because of the party.  Iprinted a new one...hopefully he didn't need the corrections from it (whichwere far too harsh if you ask me)

Letter: 7, You: 0

Day 8
Alright...today you give him the stuffand it is out of your hair for good.  Youshow up at his office with all of the material you needed:  You have your transcript (definitely not asgood as it should but, but you're passing, that's a plus!), your list ofaccomplishments (ok, yeah, it's lacking a little, but, dude, you're only anundergrad!  And it's not like you can putdown that you throw the best party this side of the Mississippi), information on the programsyou're applying to (well, what you could find at least.  Those websites are poorly designed), and asample of your writing (the only essay he gave you a decent grade on).

So what next?  You show up at 8 in the morning to hisoffice.  Thank God he's there this time...thatwas annoying.  However, there are fivepeople waiting to talk to him.  CRAP.  You forgot about the midterm tomorrow. Youtake a seat on the ground down the hall.  Of course there are no chairs...that would betoo convenient

Letter: 8, You: 0

 Day 8 (43 minutes later)
The last guy in frontof you has finally left and it's your turn.  Despite a numb butt from the tile floor, you'reready to go, so you take a seat in the office.
Professor:  It's good to see you again.  You were here about getting extra credit forthe class, weren't you?  Did you do theresearch paper?
Crap.  Clearly he doesn't remember you...again...and youlook like a failure.  Things are justgoing greeeaaattt.
You:  Um, no, I asked you about writing a letter ofRec...ommendation for me.  I brought thestuff, er, papers, you asked for. (youhand them over)
Professor:  Right, right. Of course.  What was your nameagain?
You: (insert name...again)
Ok, at this point theprofessor asks you a serious of questions like "what do you plan to do afteryou graduate?  What do you like mostabout each program, etc, etc.  It'sreally quite boring and You B.S. the entire thing.  You also have to justify giving him less thana month to write you a letter even though it's HIS fault!  Oh well. Then you leave, realieved you got that over with.

Letter: 8. You: 1
(Thank GOD...that wasgetting pathetic.)
 

Day 9- 12
You get two more professors to agree to write you letters...ok,there were a few bumps along the way, such as forgetting about the miderm again(Letters: 9, You 1), and going to office hours at the wrong time (Letters: 10,You 1), but all in all, you got your three letters of Rec taken care of.

Letter: 14, You: 3

 

Day 76
You hear from theschools you applied to.  REJECTION x 4...all 4 rejected you.  No, wait, that'swrong.  You got waitlisted at your safetyschool. #$%^%*#!$#@


Letter: 1,000,000,000,You: 3

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2035995"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/6/collegehumor.6ce7cccc758c7606c61e6a56d5cf7d64.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2035995">Patty</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:115"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 2 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1749510 AIM gAIMes Sun, 10 Feb 2008 18:36:50 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1749510 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>     Everyone gets bored on AIM once in a while.  Your friends are all drinking at some creepy frat party, while sporting the away message, "I KnOw I HaVe CiRrHoSiS BuT I DoN't CaRe...DrInK On!!!!! WhOoOoOo!!!!" And that other girl you talk to sometimes is stressing over that midterm or the paper she has to write for that class that she's so worried about.  She's a bitch.  Get a real major, not one where you already know everything.  It's like being a Japanese kid and majoring in Pokemon.
    Anyway, so you're talk/typing with that one other person, be it your significant other, your grandma, or that kid with braces from high school who you're only friends with because you did that one history project together.  You didn't even want to.  Everyone else already had a partner.  Here are some gAIMes you can play to liven up the day when you should be facebooking or something:

THE SENTENCE GAIME:
    This is a fun one in which you and your buddy take turns writing single words in an attempt to make a meaningful, hilarious, or demeaning sentence.  Example(s):

ImSoCool1324: sentence game?
ButtVirgin980: hokay, I'll go first
ButtVirgin980: bloody
ImSoCool1324: fingers
ButtVirgin980: in
ImSoCool1324: your
ButtVirgin980: butthole
ImSoCool1324: make
ButtVirgin980: me
ImSoCool1324: feel
ButtVirgin980: smiley.

Hilarity ensues

Boyfriend: You ready baby?
Girlfriend: ok
Boyfriend: you go first
Girlfriend: flowers
Boyfriend: don't
Girlfriend: smell
Boyfriend: like
Girlfriend: dirty
Boyfriend: vagina
Girlfriend: because
Boyfriend: yours
Girlfriend: is
Boyfriend: disgusting
X-Girlfriend: ...fuck you

ACRONYMS:
    Everyone has used the terms "lol" and "wtf," right?  Well, what if we used these acronyms for everything said?  This is a good way to have fun, get a headache, or to just kick the shit out of your keyboard.  Note: this game is only really fun if you and your buddy are only kinda good at figuring out acronyms.  If you're to good, it's boring.  If you both suck ass, you'll want you punch the screen.  Example(s):

This is a conversation between John and Craig.  John went to a party the night before and saw Craig's girlfriend there:

JiggaWhaaat776: ydwgo?
ChillaxaDawg9: nmmhay?
JiggaWhaaat776: ijgbftpaiwc
ChillaxaDawg9: onwdicbimto
JiggaWhaaat776: ymtiswygmsgmabj
ChillaxaDawg9: wtf?
JiggaWhaaat776: sgmabj
ChillaxaDawg9: wdsgy?
JiggaWhaaat776: bj
ChillaxaDawg9: fy

You can also combine this game with the sentence gAIMe to have even more fun:

Boyfriend: yrb?
Girlfriend: o
Boyfriend: ygf
Girlfriend: f
Boyfriend: d
Girlfriend: s
Boyfriend: l
Girlfriend: d
Boyfriend: v
Girlfriend: b
Boyfriend: y
Girlfriend: i
Boyfriend: d
X-Girlfriend: ...fy

Note: you should always be careful when playing this game.  Your partner may be saying something completely different from what you might understand:

bj = blow job, not blueberry jam

THE STRANGER GAIME:
    This game is fun because it's just like meeting someone for the first time in a chat room, but without the uncertainty about whether or not the other person has the appropriate genitalia according to your standards.  You and your buddy chat as if you were meeting for the very first time.  But you can feel confident because you already know this person.  It's also fun for role playing if the person you're talking to is your significant other.  It's can be a good lead into a nice session of cybering.  Or, you can jump right in and totally cyber the fuck out of your unsuspecting girlfriend and blame it on the game...no fault to you.  Example(s):

LoverBoy777: hey what's up?
BabyGurl6721: nothing much, u?
LoverBoy777: you come here alone?
BabyGurl6721: huh?
LoverBoy777: ...
BabyGurl6721: oh I get it...yeah I just came here with a few of my girlfriends
LoverBoy777: I see, I see...you seeing anybody?
BabyGurl6721: yeah, I have a really great boyfriend
LoverBoy777: oh yeah? Who is this guy?
BabyGurl6721: it's you, baby!!!
LoverBoy777: oh! Yay!!!

Or:

KoolSk8R1768: hey hottie
SurferGrrl2005: ...hey?
KoolSk8R1768: whats ur name?
SurferGrrl2005: huh?  Oh, this game?
KoolSk8R1768: wanna get outta here?
SurferGrrl2005: um...I guess so...Kyle I have studying to do
KoolSk8R1768: ooooooh yeah, you're so hot
SurferGrrl2005: ...yeah
KoolSk8R1768: yeah, baby. Do it just like that
SurferGrrl2005: Kyle, I'm not doing anything
KoolSk8R1768: oh my god, you're such a nasty nasty girl.  Oh yeah you fucking slut
SurferGrrl2005: can we please know each other now?
KoolSk8R1768: oh fuck yeah

    So there you have it.  These are only three of many gAIMes you and your buddies can play online.  Be careful who you play with, and what you say.  These games have the potential to make or break Internet relationships.  Don't be stupid and tell everyone about the blueberry jams you got from other guys' girlfriends.  But all in all, there's only one more piece of advice I can give: dnsatywrlbtwfweatycngb.

PLAY SAFE!!!

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:338720"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/7/4/collegehumor.645cfea796c02d844a5a6784ea31ff08.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:338720">Seano</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:115"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1749510">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1705633 I Can't Believe It Sun, 17 Sep 2006 17:26:10 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1705633 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> View Article ]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:12858"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/f/b/collegehumor.6efcaa1f7300c4c2fdb31a4b5b6e4e3b.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:12858">PlayboyBen</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:115"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1705633">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />