University of Central Florida

Pros and Cons of Buying Mascara and Using It On the Hair Around Your Nipples to Make Them Look Like Eyes

Pros: Virtually an endless list. I could tell you about all the chicks you'll suddenly get without even saying a word or even taking off your shirt, but I bet you already knew all that. I could tell you about how you'll suddenly become so...

Pros and Cons of Buying a Chicken For Your Backyard, Shaving it, Tattooing it, and Letting it Roam Free

Pros1. Chicks will not be able to resist your new pet chicken, and by chicks I mean baby chickens, which are adorable. 2. You can hypnotize it for fun; just put its head to the floor and draw a line in the ground outward from its beak.3....

Guy Plays '20 Questions' with His Girlfriend

Guy: Ok, you got it?Girlfriend: Yea.Guy: Ok, is it big?Girlfriend: No.Guy: Are you sure? I mean; it's relatively big, right?Girlfriend: No, it's about the same size as all the others.Guy: So it's above average?Girlfriend: No. It's smaller.Guy:...

Talkin' to Strangers!

So, you and your roommates get along fine, you don't have a job or a girlfriend, and you pray every night for the opportunity to become a legend by sending a story to a submission-based column? gmail.com

The Different Underground College Cults and the Pros and Cons of Joining Them

The Vampire Cult: This cult, by definition, means that they only meet at night. (citation needed) They all wear black clothing with black eyeliner. The cult has a big economic gap straight down the middle, which is easily observable. The...

Pros and Cons of Swallowing Pills That Are Handed to You at a Rave

It's Ecstasy: This is probably what it is according to most movies where a chick hands a guy a pill in a bar. You take the pill, and you start feeling awesome and if you keep hanging out with this chick you'll probably hook up with her. If she...

Critic Reviews a RollerCoaster Tycoon Park

Today I had the extreme misfortune of attending the 1-year anniversary of the amusement park, "Tootsie's Cabaret." Not only is it not amusing in the slightest, but I'm pretty sure it's a concentration camp and I'm shocked that I made it out alive....

Clothing: The Article!

With the days up ahead, you need to wear clothing. Here are some ideasT-shirt- This item will cover the top half of your body. It can have pictures on it. I have one with the Tasmanian Devil holding a basketball. I also have one that is just...

Pros and Cons of Projectile Items Launched at Pet Bird's Cage to Make it Shut Up

Pencil (Number 2, Mechanical): Very light and easy to throw, minor risk in harming the bird. The resulting sound is very light, not enough to scare bird for more than a few seconds.Gum (Spearmint flavor, Stride): Very small, does not make a...

Saturday Night's Alright for PvP Fighting

Saturday Night's Alright for PvP Fightingby Elton JohnLink to Elton John's version Saturday Night's Alright For FightingIt's getting late and the guild awaitsI.M. me when the boys get hereIt's seven o'clock and I'm all caps-lockWant to level up my...

How You Read An "And What It Says About You" Article And What It Says About The Article

You read it and chuckle quietly to yourselfThe article is moderately funny.You read the article and take what it says seriouslyIt is probably a well written article with many sources and quotations to back it up--You read the article and don't...

The Morning After Days of Our Lives

So these two ladies are mad at each other and exchange harsh words. The white guy was pretty pissed off about something and the old white lady was like I'm so pissed and then the guy in the black turtle neck with the weird face who looks similar...

How You Read My "How You Read An "And What It Says About You" Article And What It Says About You" Article And What It Says About You

Thought the title was interesting and looked at the article and was like, "this guy must've spent more time thinking of the title of this article then he did writing it."You're right. Good call.Looked at the title and thought, "hey this could be...

Pros and Cons of Different Egg Dishes and What Each Says About You

Scrambled: Pros: Delicious. Cons: Slightly boring. If you make scrambled you just aren't very creative or you are very lazy. Probably the latter. I understand. It's almost impossible to make a mistake cooking scrambled eggs. Throw a little bit of...

How You Read An "And What It Says About You" Article And What It Says About You

Read the Whole Thing From Top to BottomYou have great work ethics. You are smart, capable, and confident. You can look at any task, no matter how daunting, and say, "Know what world? Fuck you. I can DO this." You love to learn, and are great at...

How You Drink A Bottle Of Water And What It Says About You

Take Off The Cap, Take A Sip, Than Immediately Put Back On The Cap:You are a pansy. You are weak. You are just a lame person in every aspect of your life. You are a good student, but besides that, you just suck. You can't make eye contact with a...

How Different Majors React To Seeing Road Kill

Premed- "I wonder what the cause of death was? Looks like head trauma. I think I'll perform the autopsy... where did I leave my scalpel?"Engineering- "Looks like a car hit this guy. By the amount of damage I'd say it was maybe a 4 door SUV with 4...

Ultimate Frisbee

How My Angry Email Ended My Spam Problem Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

TO: Bong (xmwccvegycwi@yahoo.com)SUBJECT: Re: Someone in your area has a crush on you!Dear Spam email sender,Thats it! I'm sick and tired of your spam emails! I am tired of your deception and will not tolerate your emails any longer! You are...

Group Therapy Session for the Children of Celebrities

Counselor: Hello everyone! Please have a seat... alright fantastic. Now, who would like to go first? Anyone?Pilot Inspektor: Um... I'll go.Counselor: Thank you Pilot Inspektor!Pilot Inspektor: Call me Pilot.Everyone: Hey Pilot.Pilot: Hmm, where to...