University of Florida

My experience at a bluegrass concert...

Ok so my roommate invited me to go to a bluegrass concert.  I'm always to try new experiences so I said Ok why not?  We end up driving way out into the middle of the forest/swamp onto a remote farm way outside of town.  I'm thinking...

Script Outline for Mind of Mencia

Open with something making fun of the President. Add an overused noise to describe something retarded.Commercial Break.Use the same racial joke from Episode 1 that has been repeated every episode since, just in different words. Make sure to...

How the movie REALLY ended

We've all seen the cliché terrible movie. Bad plots, bad acting, bad special effects, did I mention bad plots? Instead of being enveloped by the magical world of motion pictures, you are left to ponder which major Motion Picture Company...

Dissections

The NEW RULES of Facebook

It seems that every time I log onto Facebook (admittedly too often), there is always something/someone new there to piss me off.  Over time some recurring themes become apparent. I've been mentally compiling a list of grievances regarding...

Carlos Mencia, and All of His Fans, Should be Euthanized

"If you don't know who I am yet, you've been living under a fucking rock!"  So claimed Carlos Mencia in a commercial for his Comedy Central show, Mind of Mencia, and no quote more perfectly encapsulates the unabashed hubris that makes him so...

Reputations

Tips for taking adderall

1. Snort it.

How to save the world in about 23 seconds

Lately, the talk of global warming has enveloped our dear society into an intense struggle between people who think the world is going to end because I drive a car and people who know for sure that our recent climate change is a mere cyclical...

Ohio State's 2008 Football Schedule

COLUMBUS, OHIO - Today, after the Buckeye's second national championship loss in as many years, Ohio State athletic director Gene Smith released a schedule the likes of which the Buckeye faithful have never before seen.Below is the newly released...

The Life of a Shot Glass

Iwas born in China with many other shot glasses. We didn't have much time to get to know each other because we were all shipped overseas soon after birth. I moved to a nice location in a Times Square souvenir shop. I lived across from the...

Making the Perfect Schedule

1. Get a friend who's registration date is before yours to save you seats in as many classes as possible.2. When it's your turn to register, add all classes of interest.3. Check Ratemyprofessor.com and drop all the ones with bad teachers.4....

Things I Think About While Walking Around in 100 Degree Weather

"No amount of water can replenish all that I am sweating right now." "Clothes were a mistake." "Maybe the skin cancer will take my life...right now. No? Damn." "You think there might really be a pool on the roof of the school?" "Is that a water...

Blogger's Blasphemous Rants

I started reading the bible yesterday. Random, I know, but it's something I've always wanted to do. And I gotta say, that is one crafty piece of literature, a little convoluted at times, but mostly really fun. Anyway I wanna take a moment to talk...

Back to School Tips

Ah, the summer. All sun and games. No responsibility and no school. By now you're probably already sick of your parents and your job as a camp counselor which is lucky for you, because school is just around the corner. And now that summer is...

Facebook Ruins Lives

...3 weeks after that...::facebooking once again::Girl 1: I cannot believe you're still poking him.Girl 2: Oh, I'm not. He called me like six more times, each message more pathetic than the last. I never called back and I blocked him on AIM....

A Lifetime Named in the Way of Friends' Episodes

The One With the C SectionThe One With the Dirty DiaperThe One With the BracesThe One With the Alcoholic FatherThe One Where the Dog Gets Sent to Live in a FarmThe One With the First Day of High SchoolThe One With All the MarijuanaThe One With the...

A Drunken Hookup: His and Her Thoughts

Her: I guess I'll go upstairs with this guy. The keg is tapped anyway. His: Oh yeah, I'm gonna get some!!...Her: Watch a movie? Is this guy kidding? I thought I was coming up here to get sloppily groped. His: Yeah, gotta ease into it. This will...

The Subtle Effects of LSD

Real World World on Acid playground Superhero Land at Islands of Adventures mirror an impostor from another universe 7/11 a rave a rave a...

Top 5 Awkward Moments in the History of Modern Photography

5. Taking a nice group picture only to realize there's a random creepy guy smiling next to your best friend.4. Trying to get everyone to pose for a group picture and realizing when they finally begrudgingly do, that you had it set to video, not...