University of Iowa

A post-production meeting for Roman Polanski's 'The Pianist'

Polanski: Good morning, gentlemen. What did you think of the film?Studio Executive 1: For the most part, we thought it was amazing, but we are a little concerned about the direction you took the ending...Polanski: How so?Studio Executive 2: Well...

The Morning After More To Love, Episode 3

This episode starts off with all the girls discussing Luke's body. They eventually end up trying to guess how many fat rolls he has like one of those "guess how many jelly-beans are in the jar" competitions where, if you win, you get all the...

The Morning After More To Love, Episode 2

One of the things I hate most about most reality dating shows like The Bachelor/ette, Joe Millionaire, Average Joe, etc., is that the contestants all invariably "fall deeply in love" with the person they're competing for. This is nearly always...

The Morning After More To Love, Episode 1

Sometime in 2007, Fox executives were watching Kid Nation and one of them said, "Hmmm, what do people like making fun of more than children? I got it! FAT PEOPLE!" And because it took 2 years for them to fatten up their contestants, in 2009, More...

My Rejected Attempts at Historical Internet Articles

Ever since Chuck Norris invented the internet in 2003, one of the most successful formulas for comedic internet articles has been Popular social media website + history/The Bible = hilarity. Unfortunately I've never been able to get it quite...

icanhasdoublethink.com

1984 as told by the internet's most obnoxious felinesMost of the actual work done by Katie Marino.

The Morning After - American Idol - Final 9 Results Show

Let me start off by saying that I don't think I've ever watched an American Idol results show in its entirety, so this was a whole new experience for me. I thought it would be boring as hell, which it was. But it did contain some very very...

The Morning After - American Idol - Final 9 or Something

I just started watching American Idol these last few weeks since by now the show is so irrelevant that I'm interested in it because other people aren't. Anyway, I noticed that there wasn't a TMA (or I just couldn't find it), so I decided to write...

The Republican Canadian Relocation Checklist

In light of the election results, I decided I would help my conservative friends who are planning to move to Canada to get away from the socialist agenda that Barack Obama is going to push on our once-great country. I compiled a small checklist of...

January 20, 2009

Barack Obama: ...and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States."Hail to the Chief" plays and a 21 gun salute commences.Obama: HAHA MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAJohn Roberts: Mr....

Inappropriate Bumper Stickers for Abortion Doctors

Hey, Look at Me I Can Write Stuff

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Fun Facts!

There are only four countries with one syllable in their names: France, Greece, Spain, and Chad.The country with the most syllables in its name is Antidisestablishmentarianismistan.Ironically, Antidisestablishmentarianismistan's government is...

Whose on First (Grammar Edition)

Manager: Okay, so here's the line-up: Whose is on first...Base Coach: Wait don't you mean "Who's" on first? You didn't need to say "is"Manager: No, Whose is on first...Base Coach: Wait, the name of the guy playing first is Who, that's how this is...

I live by a strict set of rules

Rule #1: There are no rulesRule #2: Forget Rule #1Rule #3: Rules are meant to be brokenRule #4: Never forget Rule #2Rule #5: Don't play by anybody else's rules.Rule #6: No fat chicksRule #7: Forget Rule #6

A Conversation With a Man Who Only Talks in Beatles Song Titles

MWOTIBST: Good Morning, Good Morning.Me: Hey buddy, how's it going?MWOTIBST: Getting Better.Me: That's good, walk down this hallway with me and we'll talk.MWOTIBST: Something in the Way.Me: Oh that's just an empty box, I'll move it.MWOTIBST: Wait....

Real Facebook ads for old people

A while ago I noticed that Facebook ads had started to be tailored to me by my age. For example one ad had the headline "22 year-old gamer?". While I am a 22 year old gamer, I was getting sick of the constant ads for "BBW Girls" and gay sex so I...

Honest Misunderstanding

Drawn by Happy Happy Happy Man

A Meeting at 5 Hour Energy Headquarters

Executive #1: Men, it seems we have a problem on our hands. This:Holds up a bottle of "6 Hour Power" drink.Executive #1: What do you think people are going to do when they see our product next to this at the cash register?Executive #2: Ignore them...

The New Rating Scale

I would like to start off this article by apologizing; Iknow when you read College Humor ¹ou expect something insightful and deep.?his article however is unbelievably, extremely shallow.It's the baby pool of articles.I wouldn't be surprised...