CollegeHumor: University of Texas at San Antonio Stuff http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1791314 Top Annoying Professors Thu, 10 Sep 2009 20:39:30 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1791314 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Congratulations! You're a freshman in college. After shelling out $1000 for books that you will sell back at $4 at the end of the semester, and getting all types of technological gadgets whose pricetag rivals that of many third world countries' G.D.P., you find out that you can barely understand your instructors.

This is the list of your teachers.

1. Your Foreign professor.
It does not matter how many times he repeats what he says or how slowly he says it, you still can't understand shit! "So X ova Bee, murteepy bay receeplocol , and add Z".
Yeah, not only is math hard, but now you have to be a certified in ESL in order to attend your classes.

2. Your fast-talking  professor.
There is so much information that needs to be learned. There is so very little time. Your fast-talking professor will speak faster than he can put down slurpees in a single gulp. You and your classmates will be amazed at your teacher's ability to speak fast while saying absolutely nothing.

3. Your absent-minded professor.
He or she arrives at least 10 minutes late, hauling a rolling backpack filled with last weeks's essays (if you're lucky, and not last month's). He/she looks like shit and obviously didn't bother to get ready in the morning. Their casual and comfortable style suggests that they got up, gobbled a donut and ran the morning runners off the road on the way to campus. Hey...you do have something in common with your teachers.

4. Your irrelevant teacher.
You are in the class of your major, and you want and need to learn the subject matter. You kind of enjoy it. Heck, you could see yourself doing this type of thing for the rest of your life. Drawing graphs? Fuck yea! You want to be a writer? Rock on, brother!
Sadly for you and for your parents, who are footing the tuition bill, this professor will not talk about what you need in order to get a degree. Your English professor will talk about politics, your math teacher will talk about how he went golfing on the weekend, your science teacher will praise Al Gore for "exposing" the truth about global warming, and your economics teacher will not talk about economics....no, he/she will talk about his or her previous and numerous adventures while he was fighting in Vitenam.

5. Your "I dont want to be here" teacher.
This guy/woman obviously did not want to be a college professor. He may be a retired military officer who landed an easy job teaching, or a bank president who was fired after a financial snafu at a big national bank and is not teaching economics. Maybe you have the teacher who didn't want to become a teacher, but what the hell else are they going to do with a Philosophy degree?

How can you tell if you got this instructor? Easy. Look for these signs: they show up late everyday. They rarely attend class, and when they do, they tell you how much you should be appreciative of their presence there. They hate you, and you hate them. But you better kiss ass or avoid contact if you want to pass the class.

6. Your liberal ,anti-republican, Bush-hating teacher
It rained on the way to work, BLAME BUSH! The economy sucks, Blame Bush! They don't like the way they look, Blame Bush! They have an addiction to meth, Blame Bush. I think you're beginning to see a pattern here, right? This is your professor who think every evil in the world is a direct result of George W. Bush.

They will hardly talk about the subject matter, and will inject their hatred for the previous president as much as they can. God forbid you disagree with them. BLAME BUSH! Look for them in your Political Science and English classes.

7. Your gay, yet surprisingly down to earth professor.
Yep, they're gay. He/She might just scream: "I like guys" or "I like girls". Yet these professors are probably the most easy to get along with. Why? I don't know. They just are. You may or may not approve of their life-style, but guess what, they're a damn good educator and you'll probably learn alot of really cool shit.

8. Your graduate student professor.
Most universities require only a master's degree in order to teach. Some may only require a teaching certificate. You might have a teacher who is also a student. This one can go either way, they will be very organized and on top of things, or be completely unkempt. When they return your work to you, there's cat urine on your essay.

They may only be in their late 20's or early 30's, but your graduate student professor has alot of knowledge and are wise beyond their years. If you're lucky, you'll learn alot of cool shit. If not, you'll learn their schedules, what classes they are taking and will learn more about what they're learning than the class you signed up for. Freshman comp 1? No, damn it! You will hear about their Shakespearean and King Arthur seminars from graduate school.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:407879"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/c/collegehumor.9cc56a280aaddccb4c56748c6f315838.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:407879">Francisco Javier</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1791314">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1787257 A summary of what I like and dislike about girls. Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:13:13 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1787257 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Dislike:
-Periods
-Big sunglasses
-Twilight
-Mouths (sometimes)


Like:
-Boobs
-Vagina
-Mouths (other times)

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:92777"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/c/collegehumor.ae31e590463a45dc02e4402c117a52a8.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:92777">Zach</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1787257">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1902662 Take a step back Doc Tue, 03 Mar 2009 00:18:49 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1902662 Take a step back Doc nonadult comedy During lecture the professor appeared to be &quot;motor boating&quot; the board, unaware.rnThe stick figure wearing a cowboy hat was originally riding a big harry d!ck but someone in the lab didnt want to see that in the morning, so he erased it and drew some boobs.... <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1902662"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/e/collegehumor.d5062e44fdf62927cf582e9e65337673.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:253854">Ben East</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1902662">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1897582 Newspaper Prank Wed, 21 Jan 2009 00:42:26 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1897582 Newspaper Prank nonadult comedy We decided to cover my roommate's room in newspaper. Whenever he discovered it, we all had a good laugh and cleaned it up. It took seven trash bags and five Wal-Mart bags to get rid of all the newspaper. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1897582"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.2e93fb5d6bdc7c725dc556f35ef44d96.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1196634">Jake</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1897582">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1886060 why do we hav 2 kno wut history is? Tue, 28 Oct 2008 23:16:45 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1886060 why do we hav 2 kno wut history is? nonadult comedy I don give a dam bout no english class either <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1886060"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/5/collegehumor.7bd7f808c6bf65c38abe9f3546b4532d.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1588782">Corbin</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1 like </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1832923 That Girl? 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Sun, 16 Mar 2008 19:54:16 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1807141 Shiti Captcha! nonadult comedy It's as if the captcha is trying to tell me something... <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1807141"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/3/collegehumor.1a05dedd7f5c1bc7949943c31ff72f50.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:93166">awesome-o</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1807141">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1798231 Bro Collar Sun, 20 Jan 2008 21:51:46 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1798231 Bro Collar nonadult comedy "Dude that should not be good for dogs" rejected, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1798231"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/b/0/collegehumor.27b203eb03d83d5c8fc2f9108e456fe2.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:92777">Zach</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 5 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1796625 Hardest question Wed, 09 Jan 2008 17:12:25 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1796625 Hardest question nonadult comedy I was browsing a friend's facebook page, when I came upon the daily MyHeritage question. I was stumped. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1796625"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/1/e/collegehumor.2f3d6d61f74d419b80adf4eebaf2e218.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:407879">Francisco Javier</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1796625">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1794286 This sign was defaced by the kids from Blumenfeld Ave. Wed, 19 Dec 2007 08:58:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1794286 This sign was defaced by the kids from Blumenfeld Ave. nonadult comedy This sign was defaced by the kids from Blumenfeld Ave. streeter seidell, street sign, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1794286"><img src="http://2.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/0/collegehumor.e58829499e3cd0923d5d33b08ce27565.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:93166">awesome-o</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 41 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1784469 Hallow's Eve 2007 Tue, 30 Oct 2007 11:55:18 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1784469 Hallow's Eve 2007 nonadult comedy Bluntman, Chronic, Middle School Football Coach, God's Gift to Women <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1784469"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/e/collegehumor.18a70484bebf4fdbc6dd54aec4e73857.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:114799">Wilck</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1 like </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1774855 College: The Game Mon, 10 Sep 2007 23:57:36 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1774855 College: The Game nonadult comedy <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1774855"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/b/5/collegehumor.c044b54b9afeff724044fe55c043afba.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:407879">Francisco Javier</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 2 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1774464 Think MySpace is... Sat, 08 Sep 2007 21:29:35 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1774464 Think MySpace is... nonadult comedy ...kinda asking for accusations of not doing enough to prevent internet pedophiles and stalkers when the have PREDATORY AS ONE OF THE AVALIABLE MOODS? <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1774464"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/2/collegehumor.6c7c0334f0ca0f896499fb3210af1045.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1196634">Jake</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1774464">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1757827 That Guy Sat, 05 May 2007 12:32:15 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1757827 That Guy nonadult comedy That Guy throwing the shocker <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1757827"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/3/9/collegehumor.c8b34e93b68d118e5890a1094790030e.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:114799">Wilck</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1757827">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1749355 30, 30 Pack Heisman Wed, 21 Mar 2007 22:27:02 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1749355 30, 30 Pack Heisman nonadult comedy 30 Keyston Light 30 packs for Spring Break 2007 DIK style <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1749355"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/e/collegehumor.dc8145ad7332d2f4523b045ec38974ff.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:123297">abefastcash</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 3 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1749285 My Favorite DIK Shaming Wed, 21 Mar 2007 16:27:22 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1749285 My Favorite DIK Shaming nonadult comedy He passed out at 12, so we brought out the creative minds of college students. Note the strobe light, he was having his own personal rave! <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1749285"><img src="http://2.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/c/collegehumor.828f1d1c17ab814f0c10f74ce124c3ee.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:123297">abefastcash</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1 like </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1740918 That Guy in the Sushi Restaurant #1 Thu, 08 Feb 2007 15:51:01 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1740918 That Guy in the Sushi Restaurant #1 nonadult comedy Kona Grill @ La Cantera, Alex's face says it all <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1740918"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/b/9/collegehumor.c034a9eb854e00108e440eb99adc7e83.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:123297">abefastcash</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1740918">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1737177 "I wasted 15 bucks to get into a custom car, TV and movie car show with all the hopes to see the ChuckMobile from Walker. But alas, it wasn't there." Tue, 30 Jan 2007 09:52:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1737177 "I wasted 15 bucks to get into a custom car, TV and movie car show with all the hopes to see the ChuckMobile from Walker. But alas, it wasn't there." nonadult comedy "I wasted 15 bucks to get into a custom car, TV and movie car show with all the hopes to see the ChuckMobile from Walker. But alas, it wasn't there." Chuck Norris, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1737177"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/e/5/collegehumor.a9bdf48e80b30c36bc7273656a94ff91.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:114375">Capitol-C</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:253"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 10 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />