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  • Celebrity Now

    Pop Culture CliffsNotes: Oct 10

    by Sarah Schneider yesterday


    Big week in Hollywood, guys. OJ's guilty, Stern's married, Gyllenhaal's stacked, and dogs are #1 at the box office. But before you head to the apocalypse shelter, let's do a quick rundown, shall we? (DListed, IDLYITW)

    News broke this week that Hugh Hefner broke up with long time girlfriend Holly Madison. Poor Hef, right? Now he's stuck with only those other two girlfriends he had, plus two new girlfriends, 19 year old twin Playboy models Kristina and Karissa Shannon. He must be a broken man. A broken 82 year old man having sex with 19 year olds. (IDLYITW, Egotastic)

    OJ Simpson was found guilty this week of armed robbery, armed kidnapping, armed burglary, assault with a deadly weapon, conspiracy and not knowing when to quit. (Celebslam)

    Halle Berry was named the 'Sexiest Woman Alive' by Esquire this week. 'Sexiest Woman Dead' went to Martha Washington. (Egotastic)

    Girl fight! This week Madonna publicly slammed Sarah Palin at two of her concerts, telling her to 'get off my street' and imitating the 'sound of Sarah Palin's husband's snowmobile when it won't start'. In related news, Madonna doesn't know how insults work. (WWTDD)

    This week, Kim Kardashian tried to dash any plastic surgery rumors by posting this picture of herself online. Because clearly it's better to be fodder for a million creepy internet pedophiles than let a few people believe you had Botox. (WWTDD)

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  • Celebrity Now

    Pop Culture CliffsNotes: Oct 3

    by Sarah Schneider October 03, 2008


    So the Vice Presidential debates were last night. Hopefully this is not news to any of you. What did you think? I personally would like to elect Joe Biden's teeth President. Those things put on a better performance than both candidates combined.

    But enough about those fake, worthless public figures, let's talk about celebrities!

    Let's start this off right with a little Winehouse, shall we? This week, Amy punched a fan in the face because she was 'startled' by all the 'flashbulbs.' Which sounds like a sign they would have outside the monkey cage at the zoo. It's official: Amy is so messed up she is actually devolving. (DListed)

    Heather Locklear was arrested this week of a suspected DUI (which turned out to be false). Upon further investigation, it was discovered that the 'witness' who had called police was actually a bitter former Us Weekly employee, who then tipped off paparazzi of the imminent arrest. Holy crap, right? I'm as shocked as you that anyone would actually care that much about Heather Locklear. (IDLYITW, CelebSlam)

    But never fear, Heather, everybody knows celebrities are above the law anyway. This week we learned that neither Kayne West (charged with vandalism) nor Shia LaBeouf (charged with a DUI) will face any consequences for their actions. Damn you, OJ 2.0. This is all your fault. (DListed, WWTDD)

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