Ahh college mass transit, ride to the impoverished, lazy student. Most students enjoy getting out of the facist dorms and away from campus and closer to the bars. But that creates the delima, how do I get to class with out walking for buying a parking pass? PUBLIC BUSES TO THE RESCUE!

Everyone can appreciate a free ride, unfortunetly, not everyone should. I am talking about the socially backwards people who shouldn't be allowed to attend college, let alone take advantage of gas guzzelling free rides. Listed below are the top 5 enemies to the bus rider

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1. The fat guy. Not just any overweight individual, I am talking about the 500 pound sweaty dude who always finds a way to sit next to you. Not only does he crush your rib cage, he should be walking anyway to loose the extra two people he's gained through a steady diet of donoughts and pizza.
2. The cell phone addict. "Look at me, look at me, look at me, I am so important, look at me." These are the only words really coming out of the mouth of that person who is always on her phone, from the time stepping onto the bus to the minute right before the class. There is no possible way you have that much to talk about to that many people. It is obvoius that you are talking to yourself just to graner attention, way to go. At least we can be comforted that they will die from brain cancer soon.
3. The iPod person. And not just any person who listens to their MP3 player, but the one who has the volume so loud on their headphones that the entire bus can hear it. We get it, you love death metal, but maybe some of us have different musical taste. Maybe turn your iPod down to a level below fighter jet. I hope you enjoy losing your hearing before leaving college.
4. The shouter. "Hey! can you believe what I did last night? Ya I was so gone it was awesome." Good for you, but maybe you could wait to retell stories of drunken shenanigans until you and your friend are not at oppisite sides of the bus? Congrates, you got drunk and woke up with someone who's name you can't remember, but the entire bus could care less. Plus I have a killer hangover from last night and your yelling isn't helping
5. The creep. This guy sits right across from you and just stares, unashamed at his wierdness. Please stop taking mental pictures of me that you will be recalling later with the lights dimmed and the lube and tissue by your bed.
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