"Ew, Chevy!" - guy who cares too much about cars
He carries it 15 blocks just to drop it off on his ex-girlfriend's lawn.
They really need to start being more selective with who they give those PBA cards to.
"I changed my mind, I don't think I want to go on an adventure."
"Just because I'm neutered doesn't mean I can't get a jolly roger."
Just not as much as this guy.
Feel free to deep fry.
You just got WIKIBOMBED!
3 boys and only 2 girls. Someone's going stag to prom.
Where's HER leash?
Now I can use my binoculars for something worthwhile - looking at great tits.
Your calmness should come from knowing that all the bears in the area were killed for the furry wall.
Most awesome fish ever to f*ck the sea
"I DARE you to tickle me now. Go on. Do it."
Oh, I thought it said babies. Well, I'm already here. 3 rabies please!
For those prices you could sell me rat and I'd eat it!
You wear what you eat.
"Don't worry, I'm just going out for a smoke."
Even worse, he got his degree at a state school.
"Are you kidding me? Pete Sampras' schnauzer signed that for me at Wimbledon."
That's just cruel, flip flops are so much more comfortable.
God save the newspaper industry.
His victims can only travel in daylight. Tough luck.
Duct tape really can do anything. Now if only they had it on the Titanic.