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Cat Wants to Do Yoga
"Om, what are you doing?"
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"Rainbows and Sperrys Suck"
I'm sure their lawyers are shaking in their inadequately broken-in boots.
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"Jersey Girls DON'T Pump Gas"
It's people like this and the ungodly stench that give the great state of New Jersey a bad reputation.
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World's Most Patient Cat
"I gave up lying around all day for this?"
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World's Worst Bird
He's the perfect pet for people that want to want to claw their ears off.
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Cat Doesn't Like Being Touched
He'll stop "messing with the 'do" when you stop rubbing on the couch.
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Zebra Won't Leave Rhino Alone
Someone explain to the rhino that he's the size of four zebras, and that he has a horn.
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What it's Really Like to Work in a Music Store
The 8% employee discount makes it all worth it.
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Baby Tries to Get Brothers Attention
She's doing it all wrong. If you want attention, you gotta poop your pants. That's what I do.
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Sore Loser Can't Hack it in Tape Race
There's no crying in tapeball.
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Newscaster Makes a Friend 2
They're still friends. One of them, at least.
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Death Metal Rooster
His record just went platinum in Norway.
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Neverending Rooster
Man, animals are the worst.
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117 Sneezes In a Minute
She must be hoping someone with an even more unfortunate illness doesn't come along and break her record.
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Newscaster Makes a Friend
Featuring the nation's softest, most luxurious shoulder.
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Talking Cat is a Jerk
This cat is a lot like my ex-boyfriend. They're both jerks and America short-haired cats.
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Speed Dating with Sonia Sotomayor
"How did your dad die? Wait! Let me guess. He killed himself."
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Car Horn Laugh Lady
"Stop having fun, mom. It's obnoxious."
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The Most Patient Sports Reporter in the World
He'd do something about them, but those drunks are the top ranking government officials of his country.


