New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez is often derided by the media for coming through when situations are no longer important, i.e. hitting a homerun when his team is up or down by eight runs.

Arod – Honey, kids, dinner is ready! I made chop suey!

Wife – I’m in our room!

Arod – Dinner’s ready. Where are the kids? Wait, why are you in bed?

Wife – It’s 11 o’clock. The kids are asleep and I’m reading before I also go to bed.

Arod – What about dinner?

Wife – You said you were going to cook, but then you just stared meekly at the stove in silence for six hours. We ordered Dominoes.

Arod – Oh, wow.

Wife – Yeah.

Arod- I’m very sorry Madonna.

Wife – What’d you call me?