At this wedding, you have a choice of chicken, beef, or justice.
They don't give you lap dances, they give you lap bench presses.
Brace yourselves: prostitutes are coming.
Jerking hard or hardly jerking?
What, is this? OPPOSITE DAY?
Once you pop a quarter, you can't stop.
"May the Force move you."
Get it, baby.
Polly want a murder?
So I guess we know who the guy she's always singing about is (psst, it's Satan).
If you didn't feel self-conscious enough at the gym, take a look at this treadmill superstar.
Jennifer, you should know never to startle a horse from behind.
The better to seduce you with.
Boy, you trippin'.
Nothin' I couldn't do in Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2.
It's a pretty heady high.
Someone give this person a raise and a guitar stat!
Hail Wifi, our troubleshooting dark lord.
Livin' in a batshit paradise.
There ain't room in this town for the two sets of pants that horse would need.
Oh no! Sean Hannity was planning on covering this topic in his next show. Now he'll just have to talk about boring politics.
Houston, we have a dessert dish.
There's no joke. They're just beautiful.
Putt to the future.