Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
One man enters, half a man leaves.
The van's not a-rocking, but I'm still going to just walk by and pretend I didn't see anything.
They're all single, ladies.
"It's from fencing with PVC piping found in the garbage." (gross)
Just like Halloween brings out slutty girls' natural sluttiness, it brings out weird guys natural weirdness.
Hypothetically speaking, what do you think would happen if you hit a deer at, say, 70 miles per hour? Hypothetically.
"When he accepted the dare quickly, I upped it with the blood and crap."
Hey guys, can I be in your gang?
WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN US!?!
For most people this is a deny, but there's a certain percentage out there who would call this an enthusiastic approve.
"My friend beat up LL Cool J back in '92 and took his jacket."
"After my friend decided to pull a knife on the bouncer..."
Whenever I read that sign I think "Uh oh, better look out for the retarded kids."
Ummm I think you guys are playing flag football wrong.
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We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.