dead animal

    We'll call him Rip Van Whiskers.
    That lizard always was a wiseass.
    "Meep meep?"
    "You got squirrl'd"
    "Deer hunting in Wisconsin."
    "Maybe not the best location for a pet store."
    "Awwww... another cute mouse"
    "My roommate and I were cooking supper when we heard a loud crash like a baseball hit our window.  We went to investigate and found this on our living room window.  Stupid pigeon!"
    "Someone thought it would be funny to put a dead raccoon on this kid's doorstep for mischeif night. We thought it would be even funnier to tie it to his door because he was away for the weekend!"
    "My roomate killed this creature with a steak knife in our kitchen, so we figured we'd hang it outside our front door as a warning to the rest of them. We don't need no sitnking bats."

    Nothing found...

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