CollegeHumor: Death

Real Death Laser

Thu, 24 May 2012 11:44:40 -0400

Well, real-ish.

Maurice Sendak On Death (And Life)

Tue, 08 May 2012 11:12:08 -0400

The most emotionally affecting video everyone you know will post to Facebook today.

Life and Death According to Zelda

Thu, 03 May 2012 14:06:51 -0400

Quick, hit the reset button.

Medium Meets His Match

Tue, 01 May 2012 15:01:01 -0400

Apparently daytime television is awful on both sides of the Great Divide.

Creepiest Children’s Song Ever

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 11:31:36 -0400

On second thought, maybe those health class videos weren't as bad as they could have been.

Egyptian Sex Law Meeting Minutes

Mon, 30 Apr 2012 17:43:43 -0400

Egypt is preparing to introduce a new law that would allow husbands to have sex with their wives up to six hours after death. Here are the leaked minutes leading to this decision:

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Facebook Post Contains Both Dick Joke and "RIP Grandpa"

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 00:05:59 -0400

This is how he would have wanted to be remembered.

Sorry For Your Loss

Thu, 26 Apr 2012 11:25:27 -0400

Being a jerk means never having to say you're sorry.

Flowchart: How Long Would You Survive in a Horror Movie?

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 12:52:35 -0400

Death Defying Mountain Bike Run

Fri, 16 Mar 2012 16:29:43 -0400

Who's going to be the one to tell him the Arby's at the bottom of the hill is closed?

Deer Has a Question about Google's Privacy Policy

Tue, 13 Mar 2012 14:23:41 -0400

"When I die, does the new privacy policy let you post pictures of my corpse online?"

Man Cheats Death Then Proposes Marriage

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 18:58:25 -0500

Two years later, he pretended he'd found her long lost twin sister and then asked for a divorce.

Death to Pennies

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 14:48:37 -0500

Get their two cents--while it's still possible.

Last Day Itinerary

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 11:12:59 -0400

“Live each day as if it were your last,” the final earthly advice my father ever gave me. It might not have been, had I succeeded in my attempts to dislodge the complimentary cookie from his trachea, but one can only do so much after consuming all of that MSG. I choose to blame the EMT, whose spring roll I ate when he left to go answer a call rendered my fingers too greasy to get a strong Heimlich grip.

I try not to think too much about that fateful night. It gives me a mean hankering for General Tso’s chicken, and I’d hate to have agita while I’m taking the small piece of paper my father ultimately flailed in my general direction to heart. There’s no time for dwelling in the past, especially not with my schedule. I tried fitting it in between pleasuring a mermaid and establishing a true democracy, but once I figured out those things didn’t exist, I decided to use the ten-minute block I allotted them for explaining to people my Last Day Itinerary. You’re bound to get some funny looks when you’re living life to the fullest. Even more so if it entails there being no tomorrow—or any day after, for that matter.

Last Day Itinerary

5:45 AM: Wake up. Set video camera up on a tripod.
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Grandpa's Video Will

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 17:51:07 -0400

Coincidentally, he died trying to figure out how to turn the camera off.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Memorial

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 11:03:30 -0400

The sewers flooded during the storm. There was no way out. RIP turtles.

TMI Death Notice

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 16:43:37 -0400

The circumcision would have gone a lot faster if he didn't insist on using the toothpick.

80s Sitcom Predicted Gaddafi's Death

Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:35:33 -0400

They also predicted Tamagotchis would be cool forever, so let's not give them too much credit.

Man Killed To Death

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 11:58:11 -0400

SECOND VICTIM RESCUED TO LIFE

Christmas Stockings Hidden Message

Wed, 12 Oct 2011 16:14:37 -0400

When you've got 10 kids Christmas gets expensive. Mourning is much cheaper.