Scrooge McDuck:

Gadwall Quackinson: Mr. McDuck, how exactly did this come to be? I’m looking at the reports right now and there seems to have been no change in the value of the company. How did this happen?

Scrooge: Well, as many of you may know, I have my fair share of enemies trying to knock me off the top. My main nemesis, Flintheart Glomgold has been steadily gaining on me for quite a while. This morning he finally managed to inch ahead and now I’m only the second richest duck in the world.

Gadwall: What kind of investments is he involved in?

Scrooge: I can’t speak to that, but I do know how he managed to knock me out of the top spot…he snuck into my vault and stole a single gold coin.

Canvasback Breadeater: You mean to tell me…he broke in to your vault, which holds your entire fortune, and only took a single coin.

Scrooge: That hooded merganser! He knew that was all the needed to overtake my wealth, so he did it to taunt me. I could ring his neck!

Gadwall: Well, sir, if he is only ahead of you by a single coin, this problem should be easily fixed with some simple investments. How do you feel about real estate?

Scrooge: Explain.

Gadwall: Well…we take some of your money and buy property. Then we use the property to turn a profit.

Scrooge: But won’t I fall further behind when I spend the money to buy the property? How does that even make sense!? Your plan takes me in the opposite direction! Who knows how far I will tumble down the “richest ducks” list by the time your silly plan is through.

Gadwall: But…sir…you have to spend money in order to make money. Without risk there can be no reward.

Scrooge: Risk! Let me tell you something about risk! I still have the first dime I ever made!

Gadwall: That’s, admirable, but what does that have to do with risk?

Scrooge: What does Vasco de Gama have to do with Gorgonzola cheese?

Gadwall: Nothing?

Scrooge: Exaclty the same as spending all my money has to do with getting more of it!

Canvasback: Perhaps, I have an idea that will work.

Scrooge: Go ahead, my good man.

Canvasback: Well, since you only need a small amount of money to regain your position as richest duck in the world…why don’t we take all your money and put it into a savings account.

Scrooge: Quack?

Canvasback: You see…instead of leaving it all sit in your vault, we take it to a bank, and put it into a series of savings accounts, and it will grow interest. The interest that it earns will put you back over the top.

Scrooge: Banks! But I don’t trust banks. Plus, where will I swim?

Canvasback: Swim?

Scrooge: Yes, every day I go for a swim in the coins in my vault. It’s a metaphor.

Canvasback: Metaphor?

Scrooge: Yes, because I’m swimming in money!

Canvasback: That’s very literal.

Scrooge: Your mother’s very literal.

Canvasback:…so what about my idea?

Scrooge: What if the banks crash? I’ll lose all my money.

Canvasback: Your money in a bank is insured! What if somebody breaks into your vault that doesn’t just want to steal one single coin?

Scrooge: Can’t anybody just help me devise a screwball plan to get my coin back from Glomgold?!

Huey, Louie, and Dewey jump out from their hiding spots in the back of the conference room.

Huey, Louie, & Dewey: WE CAN UNCLE SCROOGE!

Life is like a hurricane
...]]> /video/3437803 http://www.collegehumor.com/video/3437803/acoustic-duck-tales Wed, 28 May 2008 11:17:32 -0400 /link/3290813 http://www.collegehumor.com/out2/10815/url/www.holytaco.com/2008/03/04/east-german-ducktales-cartoon/ Wed, 05 Mar 2008 14:10:51 -0500 /video/3078297 http://www.collegehumor.com/video/3078297/new-ducktales-theme Mon, 19 Nov 2007 14:36:13 -0500 /picture/3034625 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture/3034625 Thu, 01 Nov 2007 14:22:13 -0400 /picture/38823 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture/38823 Tue, 31 Jan 2006 05:47:59 -0500 /picture/40479 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture/40479 Fri, 02 Dec 2005 00:29:49 -0500 /picture/59804 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture/59804 Sun, 23 Mar 2003 00:00:00 -0500