In case you don't follow every conservative semi-famous person on Twitter like we do (for the entertainment value!), here's their most depressed reactions to the GOP holding onto the House of Representatives and not much else:

...]]> /article/6845209 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6845209/how-to-vote Tue, 06 Nov 2012 02:21:28 -0500 What a day, America! The polls are open, the ballots freshly printed, and I'll be darned if the air doesn't smell just a little like democracy. It's voting time, and that means you need to be prepared. And with the help of this handy guide, casting your vote should be no problem at all. Simply follow the instructions below, you patriot, you.

...]]> /article/6845347 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6845347/20-people-mitt-romney-probably-doesnt-want-voting-for-him Tue, 06 Nov 2012 14:29:02 -0500

Both candidates are scrambling for votes today and the election's close to statistically tied. But Mitt Romney would still probably give up the support of these twenty Twitter users, even if it meant losing twenty Ohio votes:

Just Voted… Mitt Rimney i g...]]> /article/6845178 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6845178/how-to-survive-election-night-on-social-media Tue, 06 Nov 2012 00:34:46 -0500 Election Day: Sure, it's a time to celebrate Democracy and champion the freedom of our modern electoral process. But far more importantly, Election Day is also a prime opportunity for Facebooking, Tweeting, getting Retweeted, gaining Twitter Followers, getting a bunch of 'Likes,' and all those other important things that provide our lives with genuine, lasting fulfillment.

To help guide you through the treacherous waters of Political Tweeting and Facebooking, here's a list of The 10 DOs And DON'Ts Of Surviving Election Night On Social Media. Please read, enjoy, and most importantly, Facebook-Like the SHIT out of this post when finished.

...]]> /article/6845082 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6845082/10-last-minute-scandals-that-could-derail-the-election Mon, 05 Nov 2012 15:23:43 -0500

- The internet goes wild over the newly discovered confessional vlog of Fel...]]> /article/6845063 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6845063/the-most-common-write-in-candidates Mon, 05 Nov 2012 13:51:04 -0500

(CNN)<...]]> /article/6843376 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6843376/10-superficial-reasons-to-vote Wed, 31 Oct 2012 17:40:10 -0400

You'll have to put pants on.
If you didn't already have to, let's face it, you weren't going to. Now you have a reason to do something with your day, other than the fact that they're finite and becoming more fleeting by the day.

You'll get complimented.
...]]> /article/6845298 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6845298/foreign-correspondent-a-brits-view-of-the-presidential-election Tue, 06 Nov 2012 12:09:49 -0500 The US Presidential Election is almost upon us, and by us, I'm talking about everyone in the rest of the world who doesn't get to vote. Not having a say in who gets to lead America is a frustrating experience, considering how much power some say they'll have over us anyway, as well as realising who actually does get to vote. Even Utah?! Since I remain under the rule of some other, admittedly less dynamic, private school fancy-man, I'm often forced to explain what stock I have in who wins this week.

1. Everyone's Friends Anyway

Her Majesty's United Kingdom and the USA have what's known as a "special relationship", which, under any other circumstances, would sound seriously creepy. But hey, check out this video of your commander in chief and my whatever-the-chubbier-and-less-impressive-version-of-a-commander-in-chief-is kicking back and enjoying a brew and tell me what's creepy about this "special relationship" (Skip to 0:40)

See? You can't.

The point is our guys at the helm are pretty close-knit, and as such I'm going to have to put up with a lot of newspaper pictures and quotes from whoever's coming to check in on the us, like the son taking a sad and sympathetic tour of his crazy dad's new, tiny, nursing home bedroom. And I guess Obama has nicer teeth.

Point: Obama.

2. How We Look in Comparison

It's always nice to look over the shoulder of the guy in front and check out how well you're doing. In these cases it's sometimes helpful to have someone driving America who isn't unfamiliar to a gaffe or two. Politicians over here have been recently embroiled in a scandal which saw them writing off fancy luxuries as public-funded expenses, so preferably 2012's President should be no stranger to some kind of tax controversy of their own. Do you guys have one of those? Bonus points if, during their most recent visit to England, they were very widely and publicly lambasted for negatively comparing the London Olympics to the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics, as if the idea of those two things being remotely comparable wasn't scornfully laughable.

There's a clear winner here, a man of real supposed dignity and poise, which makes us feel all the better when he's made fun of by a guy who looks like this:

...]]> /article/6838934 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6838934/twitter-preferred-wwe-raw-to-the-presidential-debate Tue, 23 Oct 2012 00:56:05 -0400 While the final public collision of two men who are fighting to steer this country – and therefore the world – in vastly different directions (affecting matters of life and death for millions around the globe) was being broadcast to the citizens of this great nation, some people on Twitter preferred to watch sweaty dudes yell and roll around in a ring. Naturally.

...]]> /article/6838790 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6838790/newly-negotiated-presidential-debate-rules Mon, 22 Oct 2012 15:31:23 -0400

Last week, an official memo surfaced revealing the nitpicky rules and conditions for the presidential debates, as negotiated and pre-agreed upon by both candidates. But just in time for tonight's third and final debate, a few more rules have emerged.

...]]> /article/6834119 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6834119/what-should-politicians-be-for-halloween Wed, 10 Oct 2012 17:32:16 -0400

...]]> /article/6837532 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6837532/10-ways-to-make-the-presidential-debates-more-exciting Thu, 18 Oct 2012 17:25:38 -0400 Roll over to see just how easy it would be to spice up this election season…

...]]> /article/6836489 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6836489/mitt-romneys-binder-full-of-women Wed, 17 Oct 2012 01:28:03 -0400 During last night's presidential debate, Mitt Romney said that in an effort to mix up the all-male Massachusetts State Cabinet, he was given "binders full of women" who could potentially help run the company. Fortunately, his fantastic team delivered some very informative and helpful binders.

...]]> /article/6834454 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6834454/joe-bidens-vp-debate-checklist Thu, 11 Oct 2012 16:30:14 -0400

There's a lot of pressure on ol' Uncle Joe tonight. And with the future of the country (sort of) on his shoulders, the fella's gotta stay on track. /article/6833715 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6833715/if-your-political-facebook-friends-ran-the-presidential-campaigns Tue, 09 Oct 2012 17:00:42 -0400 With the election approaching, people sure like to speak their mind on Facebook. If only those blabbermouths had some actual power.

...]]> /article/6831652 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6831652/tv-watchers-were-not-happy-about-the-presidential-debate Thu, 04 Oct 2012 04:11:45 -0400 Who cares about the future of this country? I WANT ME SOME SHOWS.

Words cannot express how annoyed I am that the debate is on instead of Modern Family. Put M...]]> /article/6831617 http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6831617/obamas-debate-notepad Thu, 04 Oct 2012 01:48:00 -0400 President Obama spent much of last night's debate avoiding eye contact with Mitt Romney by scribbling away on a notepad. He was definitely writing down very important things.

...]]>