You don't have to be friends with, know, or even like, Mark Zuckerberg to have a Facebook profile. You used to need a college email address to sign up, but now it appears the only requirements are a willingness to send creepy messages, poke, or share political opinions via status updates and comments.

    Status Updates From Old Friends (Circa The '90s)
    He's not against farming as much as he's FOR not farming
    That's one really, really long day.
    Welcome to the Internet, Grandma.
    Don't worry, your Friendster statuses are still cool
    Mmmm... pixelated.
    Tell me about it facebook.
    Girls, teenage pop sensations...What's the difference?
    How many bushels do you think she churns out a day?
    Wait, posting threats on Facebook is a BAD IDEA?

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