Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
It's okay, they're only first cousins.
They totally crossboned after this.
When he turns 6 he'll have his celebratory three-way-match between a Jawa and an Ewok.
Well this is going to be a normal child.
On the count of 3, everyone look aimlessly away from the camera and say "Where am I?"
At least they didn't go to Wal-Mart this year.
It's not sad because he's lonely, it's sad because he cropped out his family.
His good noose was dirty.
Santa will grant them all their dreams and wishes this year. And maybe a nightmare or two.
He's holding her up so her massive clown feet don't topple her over.
The baby looks like Maggie Simpson when she's dressed in the star snowsuit.
The Situation's got a fever and the only prescription is MORE TURTLENECK.
When your baby hasn't yet learned to stand, the logical thing is to tape them upright. Obviously.
"I should've divorced him when I had the chance," said his miserable wife through a forced smile.
This should be the cover of "How To Raise Serial Killers."
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We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.