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Jake and Amir
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"Eh, there's probably nobody inside."
I'm sorry officer, I didn't realize the roof was on fire. Yes sir, I'll have it looked at immediately.
"No one had any matches, so he decided to take a log from the campfire to light his pipe."
He's either insane or oblivious.
St. Elmo's Fire
I'm in a rush, I'm just going to do them all at once tonight.
Oh it's okay, mine don't smell.
He looks so bored for someone with fire coming out of an orifice.
He looks pretty drunk already. That beer bong must have been the knock-out punch.
"We were all drunk and the pizza place's number wasn't in the damn book." A phone book without a pizzeria's number is practically garbage anyway.
I'm so good at sex, I make this happen.
"Worst fire escape drawing ever."
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