Starvation, no eating.
..written by Willy Wonka
Whatever, serious is a subjective term.
Yo dude, wanna hit that?
Oh please, get your mind out of the gutter.
His full middle name is "Porkchop."
I'm lovin' oot.
Man, we told you not to piss off that leprechaun.
First dates can be stressful. Don't make it any worse for yourself by taking your friend to a place where they may or may not contract syphilis. I mean, seriously, you can't do better than a 1 star se …
Well, it looks better than that hot beef injection I got last week.
New Year's resolutions can always wait till next year.
Meet McDonald's estranged cousin.
Listen, sweetheart, if I wanted to eat somewhere nice, I would have gone to Applebees. Now give me my goddamn pancakes.
Worst. Birthday. Ever.
Why eat chocolate when you can eat drunk?
Looks like someone is a little sour today.
"Tell PETA my mink is dragging on the [kitchen] floor."
I bet you've been wondering why your potato is so hairy. It's actually a really funny story...
Door to door burrito salesman is a pretty lucrative job right now.
Good thing they bring the lulz though.
Get the Meeluv Yulong Tym special.
Cheese comes with a free punch.
L'chaim lo mein.
Wild horses. Couldn't come out OK.