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Jake and Amir
All-Nighter: Beef Gurewitch 3: Reckoning
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All-Nighter: Jake and Amir's Dream (with Broad City, BriTANick, and the Gregory Brothers)
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That Was The Dog's Tongue
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Your Complete Guide to Arrested Development
arrested development cocktails
honest job interview
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Tag: Fortune Cookies
Helpful Fortune Cookie Explains Orange Juice
Robot Fortune Cookie
Fortune Cookie Gets Personal
"... from this restaurant. No fortune cookies at Golden Lantern down street. You eat here."
You and me both.
You just got Chinowned at Panda Express.
Fortunes are supposed to be a pick-me-up, not try to pick you up.
"Last time I take my 2 year old out to Chinese."
They didn't specify the cookie. Better luck next time monkeys!
The Chinese consider the same 3 options when they have a girl.
Because right now it's late and we're used to going to bed nice and early.
The curse of the fortune teller is pure honesty. And laziness.
Why do you think people love fortune cookies so much? Free toilet paper.
Well, isn't that inspiring?
"I was with my girlfriend eating Chinese food when she insisted on opening both of the fortune cookies. Best day of my life. I love the future!"
You will eat cold General Tso's with your bare hands tonight.
Greasy, greasy Chinese food.
And some fortune cookie writers contain no soul.
Either I have schizophrenia or I really shouldn't have taken Fido off life support.
Because some people's fortunes are vague, disappointing, and somewhat threatened.
Fortune for one! Misfortune for all!
... even if that means lying under oath.
Super vague predictions will be made to you sometime in the future.
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