Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
You have to be born into royalty to work at Burger King.
"He was hoping and wishing for that spot at Home Depot."
My alcoholic father was so proud to see me graduate.
A Phone Call From Your College Three Weeks After Graduation
His graduation speech was just silence.
"Tony Soprano going back to his roots showing up to the Rutgers Graduation."
College - you'll miss it when you're gone.
"My Mom still isnt speaking to me. BEST GRAD EVER!"
Remember class of 2007 - you are the future! So get out there, grab life, hold it like you're getting ready for a back body drop, lift it up as high as you can, then catch it mid-air as if going for a spinebuster but instead drive it into the mat.
Technical School Commencement Day Speech
Graduation Cap Cut-Outs
Of course I'm eating, I'm stoned and I've got the munchies.
Saying that a "just a mullet" is like saying Man of the Year is "just a bad movie."
He's ready for college.
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We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.