Fun Fact: The son of God was born in the back of a Dodge.
It's a classic Christmas story.
Santa's going to do his best, honey.
Dick the balls.
No glove no love.
Deck the halls with boughs of duct tape.
A dick in a box? Oh honey, you shouldn't have!
Jingle all the way to hell.
You don't even wanna know what he had to do to get that title (wear socks).
Jingle in a half-bell.
Deck the halls with "Origin of Species."
The mail may be delivered through sleet or snow, but that doesn't mean it's going to be pleasant.
Ah yes, the sound of chewing on Thanksgiving IS music to my ears.
This year for Thanksgiving be thankful we put this together so you're not bored sitting at the kid's table. YOU'RE WELCOME.
I'm thankful that my hand turkeys don't SUCK ASS!
You do you, twerky. You. do. you.
Naughty, and not particularly nice.
I'll take the dark meat, please.
Feed me your Christmass junk mail!
Lose your costume, not your dignity. Come on now.
Because being a parent is scary enough.
So uh, are you gonna finish that Twix minis or can I have it?
The roll of a lifetime.
They should have dressed up as trainwrecks.