The cat still won't look him in the eye.
The sweetest gift of all is diabetes.
Because nothing says I love you the same way a cucumber does.
With pizza you're never alone.
If you want news on Egypt, this isn't the publication for you.
Hey, he brought penis shaped chocolates to the set.
"You got your card. Now move out of the way so I can get back to gaming."
He better sink his teeth into her like a hungry Rancor.
Surprise! You'll never guess what this couch shaped present is.
We really need to make every holiday a costume holiday.
That cornucopia sure does pack a heavy load.
The Cat in the Hat isn't as fun when it's not Dr. Seuss.
"Yeah, well MY newspaper stand has 3G. What does yours have?"
Sometimes Santa just has to say, "Elf You!"
... and they're all sitting on a skinny 10 year-old with braces.
You just know he totally celebrates Kwanza.
Pretty ballsy way to ask for money.
Ever realize that Santa and Satan are anagrams? Think about it!
And to all a good night.
The look on their little faces when they unwrap their stapler for the first time is just priceless.
Think outside the buns.
He was pumping that brand new "Jingle Bells" remix, "Bling Bling Bells."
For Thanksgiving this year I baked a Cherpumple Monster Pie-Cake. It's a three layer cake. Layer 1 is a whole pumpkin pie baked into a spice cake. Layer 2 is a whole apple pie baked into a yellow cake. Layer 3 is a whole cherry pie baked into a white ca
For Thanksgiving this year I baked a Cherpumple Monster Pie-Cake. It's a three layer cake. Layer 1 is a whole pumpkin pie baked into a spice cake. Layer 2 is a whole apple pie baked into a yellow cak …
Sometimes the smallest elves carry the biggest packages.