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"My niece trying to hit the ball. I saw it heading to her face, and could have tried to help, but thought it'd be funnier to take a picture. She cried, I laughed... being an uncle is awesome."
"On the fourth of July, me and some buddies went fishing. As one of them began to cast, our buddy Matt walked behind him and got snagged in the nose. The fisherman flew forward and the line broke."
George W. Bush is the prettiest president, yes he is.
"Did anybody else almost die on the 4th?"
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