"I told him that the car was parked perfectly."
I think he also finished all the milk and didn't flush the toilet. Bastard!
Must... Obey... Google...
I'll never tell.
...and Joe the Plumber misspells.
Also you have to spend Christmas Eve at my place. And tell them you're a lawyer. Cool?
It's not a complete lie. They squeezed the water used to make the juice out of a dirty kitchen rag.
Read The Onion? You're drinking the Kool-Aid.
Wait guys, didn't Spain actually wi--BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Or, you know, maybe you should try going to the gym.
That stoner cat always tries to steal the spotlight from dogs on YouTube (read the comments).
That's my third all-nighter in a row. I keep getting stuck studying Level 6.
Water them twice a day with whole milk.
It's Wal-Mart. People don't get how numbers work anyway.
Weirdest part: Ricky M's his dad.
Really makes you feel stupid for paying so much for yours, huh?
Pizza Burrito?!? Not my recession.
Behold! The power of the Internet... and lying.
The back of his neck was severely red soon thereafter.