mitt romney

Willard “Mitt” Romney--that’s right, Willard--is a former Governor of Massachusetts, current guy with great hair, and the presumptive GOP nominee for President this election season. The son of former Governor of Michigan, George W. Romney, Mitt was born in Detroit and had the good sense to get out before that city turned into a post-apocalyptic wasteland. He is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, which is an extremely wordy way of saying he is Mormon. Romney’s Mormonism is a cause of concern among comedy writers and comedy fans alike. Just think how many Mormon jokes we would all have to listen to if he were elected. Terrifying. Romney was the co-founder of private equity investment firm Bain Capital (YAWN) and is also apparently a political Etch-a-Sketch, which must make him a straight shooter, since curved lines are so goddamn hard to draw on those things.[[[readmore]]] *Haircut:* The Clark Kent *Greying Temples:* Oh, you fucking KNOW it. *Massachusetts?:* Already home to the best looking president - John F. Kennedy - Massachusetts would have a very high batting average if Romney wins. If only that little troll John Adams weren’t dragging the average down...

  • Enjoy Twitter's Insane Imagined Version of the Sad Romney Camp

    Enjoy Twitter's Insane Imagined Version of the Sad Romney Camp

  • News Feed History of the World: October 2012

    News Feed History of the World: October 2012

  • An Interview with Mitt Romney's Balloon and Streamer Specialist

    An Interview with Mitt Romney's Balloon and Streamer Specialist

  • Romney's First Draft of Last Minute Concession Speech

    Romney's First Draft of Last Minute Concession Speech

  • Today's 10 Most Depressed Conservative Celeb Tweets

    Today's 10 Most Depressed Conservative Celeb Tweets

  • Nate Silver Is The New Chuck Norris

    Nate Silver Is The New Chuck Norris

  • These 20 Twitter Users Forgot About #ElectionDay

    These 20 Twitter Users Forgot About #ElectionDay

  • Election Day 2012 GIFs

    Election Day 2012 GIFs

  • How to Vote

    How to Vote

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    10 Last Minute Scandals That Could Derail The Election

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    How To Survive Election Night On Social Media

  • 20 People Mitt Romney Probably Doesn't Want Voting For Him

    20 People Mitt Romney Probably Doesn't Want Voting For Him

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