Drop that beat not egg.
Mother Nature has some words for you.
Miley is the new global warming.
His bark is worse than his bite.
She loves me (OWWW), she loves me not (STOP YOU'RE KILLING ME).
It's like staring into the sun, it's dangerous, but by god, for some reason you still want to look.
And my mom tried to tell me Harry Potter was FICTIONAL.
Peter Jackson didn't exactly spend much on CGI for the Ents this time around.
Make like a tree and F*ck Off
Close your branches you sappling!
BY LUCIFER'S LEAVES!
Does this dress make me look like a tree?
What do you think this is, a college dorm??
He used his Razor Scooter to chop down the tree.
"Well, excuuuuuse me for not knowing it would react negatively to me pressing my scrotum up against the glass."
It was cute until the guy got an erection and then mauled.
Good luck with that, her ex obviously rocked her world.
If an erection gets in the way of four houses being built, cut it down.
"In my eyes, I have no sun."
The best part about these is, if you find the right deli, it can happen after noon.
In other news, every 13-year-old in town just fell on their tailbone.