This just in: It's important to stay up to date on current events. Without the news, most of us would be uninformed on breaking stories and other noteworthy information, like which anchor or reporter dropped an "f-bomb" on live television.

    Guy Forced to Change Shirt
    Meatball Enthusiast
    Robert Nelsen: Cool Kid
    Woman Arrested for Playing Highway to Hell
    Dog Bread
    Gordon Ramsay's Dwarf Porn Double Found Dead in Badger Den
    Woman on News for Seeing Big Cat
    Game Described as "Cunt-Throat"
    According to Newspaper, Boy Shits Buck
    Neil Armstrong: First Man on the "Man"
    Awaiting Obama's Arrival in Me
    Fox Identifies Michael Jordan as "Failed Baseball Player"
    "More Volunteers Needed to Help Rape Victims"
    Street-Walker Wedding

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