This just in: It's important to stay up to date on current events. Without the news, most of us would be uninformed on breaking stories and other noteworthy information, like which anchor or reporter dropped an "f-bomb" on live television.

Woman on News for Seeing Big Cat
Game Described as "Cunt-Throat"
Guy Pushed Teen Off a Lawnmower, Tebowed, and Drove Away
According to Newspaper, Boy Shits Buck
Neil Armstrong: First Man on the "Man"
Awaiting Obama's Arrival in Me
Mom Punishes Pot Smoking Son by Making Him Wear Sign
News Reporter Flips Out
Fox Identifies Michael Jordan as "Failed Baseball Player"
Rhino Fart Ruins Newscast
Al Roker Frozen on Today Show
Demon Takes Over TV to Warn You of Severe Weather
"More Volunteers Needed to Help Rape Victims"
Street-Walker Wedding
Writer Asks You to Close Your Eyes While You Read

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