This just in: It's important to stay up to date on current events. Without the news, most of us would be uninformed on breaking stories and other noteworthy information, like which anchor or reporter dropped an "f-bomb" on live television.

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    Woman on News for Seeing Big Cat
    Game Described as "Cunt-Throat"
    According to Newspaper, Boy Shits Buck
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    Awaiting Obama's Arrival in Me
    Fox Identifies Michael Jordan as "Failed Baseball Player"
    "More Volunteers Needed to Help Rape Victims"
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