This just in: It's important to stay up to date on current events. Without the news, most of us would be uninformed on breaking stories and other noteworthy information, like which anchor or reporter dropped an "f-bomb" on live television.

    Dog Bread
    Gordon Ramsay's Dwarf Porn Double Found Dead in Badger Den
    Woman on News for Seeing Big Cat
    Game Described as "Cunt-Throat"
    According to Newspaper, Boy Shits Buck
    Neil Armstrong: First Man on the "Man"
    Awaiting Obama's Arrival in Me
    Fox Identifies Michael Jordan as "Failed Baseball Player"
    "More Volunteers Needed to Help Rape Victims"
    Street-Walker Wedding
    Writer Asks You to Close Your Eyes While You Read
    London Olympics Take Place in London
    Teen High on LSD Starts Fight with a Mailbox
    Kids Play in Water Under Drought Headline

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