This just in: It's important to stay up to date on current events. Without the news, most of us would be uninformed on breaking stories and other noteworthy information, like which anchor or reporter dropped an "f-bomb" on live television.

    This just in: Crucifixion is bad for you
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    Thanks for saving everyone's life but...BUSTED!
    He was halfway to joining the mile high club.
    Well, here's the worst place to rob in the world...
    Wonder what kind of horsepower they got in those things
    The heartwarming news of the day
    Epic Dump!
    Farva...?  Is that you?

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