This just in: It's important to stay up to date on current events. Without the news, most of us would be uninformed on breaking stories and other noteworthy information, like which anchor or reporter dropped an "f-bomb" on live television.

    Breaking News: Paris Hilton fell on her big, dumb face
    And you thought you hated Emo kids...
    "It was stolen?  Oh...yeah, we totally knew that."
    The worst headline that's ever been printed
    This just in: Crucifixion is bad for you
    Tulane students report on a crippling weed shortage
    Thanks for saving everyone's life but...BUSTED!
    He was halfway to joining the mile high club.
    Well, here's the worst place to rob in the world...

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