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This just in: It's important to stay up to date on current events. Without the news, most of us would be uninformed on breaking stories and other noteworthy information, like which anchor or reporter dropped an "f-bomb" on live television.

Aw, dammit! Now I'll have to change my name to "Steve"
Cool. I'm definitely not going to Australia, ever
From the Headlines II
World's Greatest Cubs Fan
CNN Uses a Dirty Word
Who Put this Dick on My Back?
Weatherman Proposes Live on the Air
Selling your body for drugs? Marsha, Marsha, Marsha
Baby urine, huh? Man, can't believe I didn't think of that
World News Feed
Opposite Day News
America's Facebook NewsFeed
Your right to fart on a cop has been upheld

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