"Old" Video

This just in via a telegram we found in the basement.

From britishpathe

She's not getting any younger, or better.

From FindaProperty

They wish them musical marital bliss.

From woundedmime

Everybody dance now (while you still can).

Can't get a date? Follow these simple rules and someone will probably slap you for being an old-fashioned misogynist.

From thefilmarchived

I hate to break it to you, but if your grandparents weren't gettin' it in on the reg', they never would have gotten your parents to move out and have you.

From safersex4seniors

Coffee: Setting the women's movement back 50 years and your bowel movement up 30 minutes.

From shaunclayton

He was drowning in embarrassment.

Can't you see you're tearing this family apart? Oh, that's why you did it?

From CopperVision

No, no, mania is only a side effect of using the paint."

"Of course back in my day, we called toilets 'Kaiser thrones.' The seats were made out of genuine bee's wax and they cost 12 hog hairs a sit."

This is what would happen if BET was bought out by ABC Family.

They're out hunting (for beats).

"I love you, you love me--but not in a weird way, I'm here for your safety."

From Everything Is Terrible

It's probably safe to say he won't be watching this clip on an iPad.

I hope this is on Netflix.

Computers may one day be able to emulate human emotion, but first they'll need to learn to emulate wedding DJs.

"Extreme, old chap. Extreme, I say!"

He's doing God's work. God's unbearable, earsplitting work.

Well that explains why he pooped on my windshield.