Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
If this isn't Jessica Simpson, it should be.
Pranked his room, turned it into the set of an arty musical video.
I shouldn't have to explain why, now push me down the stairs.
Hot girls are like everyone else, taking their underwear off two legs at a time.
Nothing is cooler than the Salvation Army.
How did you know my only weakness was a dog in sunglasses?
Cartoon elephants poop candy.
Remember when you were making fun of me for buying the pink paint and I said "you'll see"?
The children cried.
"Never ditch your roommates for your girlfriend."
While we're here I've got this growth on my neck maybe you two could check out.
I wonder if you could train a Saint Bernard to carry a small barrell of tequila around his neck.
My friends and I are into the same things, but I would still describe myself as completely unique.
The goverment is lieing to us every day!
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We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.