1. Have your roommate, aka your best bestie ever!, curl your hair. That'll be a cute surprise that he's sure to totally notice and compliment, which will make up for not hearing from him. …
AHHHH! How sweet.
Even if you could, you'd just get hair on your palms.
You know what, get two rooms.
This spring break trip was supposed to be you, Mike, Steve and Steve's girlfriend Annie. But Mike dropped out and now you're third wheeling for a week. Here are some tips for how to deal wit …
He'll find someone to take him snowboarding three times before he gets her to take him once.
So much for the sanctity of memes.
Emphasis on "was" and "one."
I'm jealous of that hose, but only because it isn't alive.
You're never truly alone when you have people to be repulsed by.
It's like they think they're people.
It's like they don't even know that they're ruining everything.
Who's in tears now?
Luckily for single people, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Perfect for setting the never wanting to have sex again mood.
They're not actually together, they're just appearing to hook up.
They'd ask their grandchildren how to wear iPhones as hats, but they died ten years ago.