You can't spell incestuous without I and U
"Margaret, I've wanted to tell you for the longest time but just didn't have the balls to do it. That's because you neutered me by the way."
That won't warm your cold feet.
An eye for an eye leaves the whole world having blind sex with strangers.
I've never thrown up in my mouth and been hungry at the same time.
He definitely used the "get over here!" line on the honeymoon.
To be fair she's only his first cousin.
It's OK, his uncle's a doctor.
If you get this, you don't have a chance.
Finding him was easy. It was getting him to leave that gave the groomsmen trouble.
"I hope you like your men how you like your coffee--soon to be unemployed."
If only he put that much effort into trying to make $441,180.03.
Sub-written by Mr. Fletcher
About me: I am weird.
Some people wait a lifetime to ruin moments like this.
They really shouldn't allow laptops at the dinner table.
3 boys and only 2 girls. Someone's going stag to prom.
"Just a second, I'm about to make Lisa sour cream!"
The other fingers just watched.
"We didn't think you had it in you, so we asked Dave for conformation."
Oh shit, mom's home.
From FoxNews.com Congressman's remarks for shooting off the tip yesterday.
Oops, wrong car. All these Excursions look alike.
Is there anything more beautiful than a single man and his cat?