Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but Rick Perry is a Governor of Texas running for the Republican presidential nomination. Although he certainly looks like a president, his ability to remember things isn’t exactly Leader of the Free... Leader of the Free... Leader of the he’ll-get-back-to-you-(oops) quality. After a poor showing in Iowa, he went back to Texas to tan the bags under his eyes and “reassess” his campaign. This reassessment led him to redouble his efforts in winning over the voters of South Carolina, because, as the state that first seceded from the Union and initially rejected the 19th amendment, they’re the most likely to think that Rick Perry would make a good president.[[[readmore]]]
*Casting Call:* While Perry never garnered much support from “them Hollywood-types,” it’s safe to say Josh Brolin is a bit bummed that he’ll have to keep waiting on the second president he’ll portray in a mediocre movie.
*Best Impression He Can Do:* George W. Bush.
*In a Perfect World:* We would elect Rick Perry. Kind of like we did in 2000 with Bush. When things are that good and a goofball is running for president the nation as a whole thinks, “Ah, what the hell! At least he’ll be funny!”