"Sad" Video

After 18-straight years of the 49ers not winning the superbowl, you think he'd expect it by now.

If it makes you feel any better, no one on the team cares about you.

From megannnlew

That was their depress the shark moment.

From GrandDistraction

He makes her watch a VHS of You Don't Mess with the Zohan when she needs to be punished.

From telin21

He's upset because this means he'll have to face all the responsibilities of a one-year-old, like not pooping on the floor.

From FATAFRAGOLA

Otherwise known as the Wilford Brimley fanbus

He hasn't been the same since he lost out on that role in Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore.

He knows he's not supposed to negotiate with terrorists, but dammit, there were king-size Kit Kats in that backpack.

Awww, he's lost his will to live.

They say that Satan himself built this vending machine from screws of the damned and plastic molded by only the most cursed of factory workers.

If a Plain White Tees cover can't cheer you up, then nothing will. Except maybe a really big cake. Or a normal-sized ice cream cake.

This is why you're not supposed to throw away those rings on soda cans, because cats are stupid.

The Rangers won, so he was still pumped.

Frat guys across America, pour out your Bud Lights in memory of all these wounded soldiers.

"Wow. What do I have to do to get a high five around here, blow up the moon? BECAUSE WE DID THAT TODAY. HIGH FIVE! No? You're good."

He's mad at Clemson, but he's mostly mad at himself for believing they could win.

Jeffrey Swern waxes on love like Robert Frost trying to seduce Pablo Neruda at John Keats' pool party.

From Plum.Knife.Lounge

"OK, seriously, you haven't fed me in three days."

The saddest part is that he can never cry.

Filmed in front of a miserable studio audience.