For whatever reason, society has shown Santa to be some fat, morally obsessed dude with an unexplainable passion for children. I'd like to entertain the notion that Santa is, in fact, the epic b …
How'd you think he got so jolly? He has to steal the joy from children of course.
"The drawing alone took up most of the class time."
What's this? I asked for a bike.
A child genius hatches a plan to make himself the only kid whose letter gets to Santa.
Santa hates the summer because the heat melts elves.
The reindeer must be resting.
Santa has gone crazy and rolled around in elf blood.
If you've been really good this year, maybe - MAYBE - you can have another Death Star.
Santa is leading his own sleigh tonight.
Rover, won't you light my sleigh tonight?
Try explaining the, "Santa's not coming" sign to your kids.
Rudolph with your nose so bright, I need you to start game 1.
What's so scary about a large bearded man who breaks into your house to eat cookies?
Santa Claus probably gets so much pussy.
Hope you're not getting in the sleigh after this.