Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
You're violating one of these rules just by being able to read.
That'll teach Calvary Pentecostal Temple for using MapQuest.
In case your lady's got that Geraldo stache going on.
It's learning emotions.
Six Flags is the last place the police look for dead bodies. The first is that weird amusement park 2 towns over with rollercoasters made entirely out of wood.
Thou shall pay for your own parking!
"Oh, these? These are 'pretzelz.' They're like pretzels, but way more extreme."
Finding out you'll never make it as an actress is a bit different when you're Dad's a city planner.
"Open your eyes, man. Privacy is a thing of the past."
Hey, he doesn't mean "Fag Sin," he means "Fag's In," like that's the cool style now. The text didn't wrap correctly.
Please plan your emergencies accordingly.
"What, no Macarena? Now how am I supposed to get laid?"
Captain Obvious should be demoted to cleaning the latrines.
It's this type of blatant disregard for the system that keeps the Big Noodle people up at night.
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We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.