Snow is a pure, magical substance that you can throw, pee on, and shape into penises, igloos, and penis igloos. That's what the song "Winter Wonderland" is actually about.

    Ruthless Snow Plow
    4-Story Snow Jump
    It may not look big, but that's 6 football fields long.
    Cecil Fielder is frozen in the middle of that.
    Cat Terrified of Snow
    That's one place you don't want frostbite.
    Over-Powered Power Wheels
    The bumper sticker says it all, "I
    I have snow idea what that is.
    Dirt Bike Snow Jump
    This snowman's cold "The Stinker"
    The core is a tennis ball sized sphere of pure ice.

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