In that case, someone needs to go help Paris Hilton right now.
Just don't ask him what a Malm is.
He's not dead; he just went to Soon.
Shirt, you've never steered me wrong before.
Celebrating the Marriage of Anthony Cock and Melissa Balls.
Also known as, the woman cats hate.
Complete the ensemble by putting a windshield through your head.
The only way this could be more awesome is if he made that shirt himself.
Wow, this plumber can fix anything.
Note: this argument usually doesn't work.
On the other hand if we always trusted t-shirts I'd be with a lot of stupid people.
This is extra cool because it's sleeveless.
His dad passed it down to him, because, apparently, he wasn't.
You're never truly alone when you have people to be repulsed by.
The text on the shirt only showed up in the picture. By that time it was too late.
The perfect gift for the lady while you're watching your weekly BTTF trilogy marathon.
But only to buy a new game.
Unfortunately he's also color blind, so the joke's on him.
It's the simplest way to let people know you're a true foodie.
The girls are rating his performance: 2 out of 10.
All the more reason for her to be promiscuous!
Either that or he's giving some kid a ride on his shoulders. Neither of which we're comfortable with.