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			<title>iPhone Detects Awkward Silence</title>
			<pubDate>Wed, 15 Feb 2012 12:25:42 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Seems cool, but the awkward silence began when you started crying about how much you paid for it.]]></description>
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			<title>Cruise Ship Pool Table Levels Itself Automatically</title>
			<pubDate>Sun, 12 Feb 2012 18:11:46 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Does not work in event of capsize.]]></description>
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			<title>The Greatest Toy in the Universe</title>
			<pubDate>Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:45:29 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[I've never been so glad to be an adult, who can blow all his money on toys, even if his mom says &quot;No.&quot;]]></description>
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			<title>Extra Robot Arms</title>
			<pubDate>Mon, 06 Feb 2012 12:10:20 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Is Pat man enough to become part machine?]]></description>
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			<title>Computer Mouse Hacked by Anonymous</title>
			<pubDate>Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:11:45 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[U stupid?]]></description>
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			<title>Tiny Helicopter Swarm</title>
			<pubDate>Wed, 01 Feb 2012 17:08:19 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Because nothing makes me feel like the machines aren't going to destroy us like a swarm of tiny flying robots.]]></description>
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			<title>Awful, Awful Sauna Pants</title>
			<pubDate>Wed, 01 Feb 2012 13:56:40 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Finally, someone invented a way to make your butt crack and genitals sweatier.]]></description>
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			<title>Literal Samsung Tablet Commercial Parody</title>
			<pubDate>Thu, 26 Jan 2012 16:09:26 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[What about if you're a guy in the dark watching Netflix? They didn't cover that.]]></description>
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			<title>Old Fashioned Phone Couple</title>
			<pubDate>Mon, 23 Jan 2012 17:50:55 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[They'd ask their grandchildren how to wear iPhones as hats, but they died ten years ago.]]></description>
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			<title>OMFG Texting Tattoo</title>
			<pubDate>Mon, 23 Jan 2012 17:40:59 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[He got it to commemorate his grandma, who died while he was texting.]]></description>
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			<title>Adorable Puppy Chomps on Laptop</title>
			<pubDate>Fri, 20 Jan 2012 16:36:43 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Technology can be so cute when it's being destroyed.]]></description>
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			<title>How to Use a USB Flash Drive Class</title>
			<pubDate>Wed, 18 Jan 2012 15:51:13 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Remember, How to Breathe and How to Not Not Breathe are prerequisites.]]></description>
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			<title>How to Look Smug Next to a Fire Place</title>
			<pubDate>Wed, 11 Jan 2012 13:42:34 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[You're just jealous you've never had an article published in The Daily Douche.]]></description>
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			<title>Cell Phone Proves Every Math Teacher Wrong</title>
			<pubDate>Tue, 10 Jan 2012 17:39:11 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Technology, the greatest substitute of all time.]]></description>
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			<title>Nic Cage Apple Store Prank</title>
			<pubDate>Mon, 09 Jan 2012 19:30:21 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Coming to theaters this second.]]></description>
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			<title>Smart Electronics Thief Evades Security Cameras</title>
			<pubDate>Mon, 09 Jan 2012 16:13:54 -0500</pubDate>
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			<title>Amazing New Invention Makes Pizza Worse</title>
			<pubDate>Mon, 02 Jan 2012 16:12:48 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[This solves the problem that pizza looks too delicious.]]></description>
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			<title>Bull Frog Outsmarts iPhone Owner</title>
			<pubDate>Wed, 21 Dec 2011 13:54:58 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[Finally, one of Steve Jobs' visions comes to life.]]></description>
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			<title>Callin' Oates: The Hall and Oates Emergency Hotline</title>
			<pubDate>Wed, 21 Dec 2011 13:47:21 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[You make my dreams come true, people with too much time on your hands.]]></description>
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			<link>http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6660690/10-ways-to-make-the-internet-better</link>
			<title>10 Ways to Make the Internet Better</title>
			<pubDate>Thu, 01 Dec 2011 20:39:43 -0500</pubDate>
			<description><![CDATA[<h2>1. Age on Comments
<a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article/6660690/10-ways-to-make-the-internet-better"><div class="embed center"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/43/88/17cf58831cfe97d30845a0654aeed836.jpg" alt="" width="600" height="221"  /></div></a></h2>

	<p>Internet comments are the worst. If you so much as scroll below a Youtube video, you&#8217;re just asking to see a wasteland of homophobic slurs and verbal venom. It&#8217;d be nice to have some perspective on the people vomiting garbage out of their keyboards. For example, if I saw a 14-year-old kid call someone a faggot in real life, I would think it was sad, but I&#8217;d realize that he didn&#8217;t know better. I&#8217;d understand that he did not yet have a sense of empathy, and that he&#8217;d probably grow out of it. Most nasty Internet commenters are 14. If I knew that when looking at a page, I could dismiss them like I would in real life. If the commenter was 60, I&#8217;d know they were just a bitter, racist old person. If they were in there 20s, I&#8217;d know they were just an ignorant asshole. For some reason, that makes it all seem better. It&#8217;s the not knowing that makes it depressing. Seeing the age of commenters would make it possible to look at the Internet without feeling worse about the human race.</p>

	<p><br  />...]]></description>
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