CollegeHumor: Teenagers

Cleveland Hero Finds Teens Missing for 10 Years

Tue, 07 May 2013 11:37:03 -0400

A hero knows when something is wrong. "The autotuned remix.":http://www.collegehumor.com/embed/6888585/little-pretty-white-girl-cleveland-hero-autotuned-remix

How Not to Start a Food Fight

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 10:58:08 -0400

Who knew it was so easy to lose both your lunch and your social life at the same time?

Cocky Game Show Kid is Wrong on US History

Wed, 17 Apr 2013 11:52:34 -0400

He earned himself a swirlie.

Average Party OFFICIAL TRAILER

Mon, 04 Mar 2013 12:55:28 -0500

If the roof's on fire, call 911.

High School Game Show Contestants All Love Nicolas Cage

Wed, 27 Feb 2013 10:52:04 -0500

Uh oh, looks like they're ready for a Cagefight.

Just How Old are the Actors Who Play High Schoolers?

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 14:14:06 -0500

At 26, I think I finally look like how I imagined I would at 18, when I was 13. A big part of that misconception comes from the glorified portrayal of High School life in movies and TV. We all know that actors playing teens aren't actual High School age, but exactly how much older are they? I set out to find just that.

Collecting data from 60 teen movies (10 from before 1980, 19 from the 80's, 16 from the 90's, and 15 from 2000 to now), and using the release date of the film as the benchmark, I looked at the ages of 139 male and 91 female roles.

The result? The average age of actors portraying high schoolers in movies is between 21-22 years old. The difference between male and female actors is not drastic (male 21.9, female 21.2), nor does the decade in which the film was made factor in a major difference. Here are some other things I found:

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Teen Wolf in the Bathroom

Wed, 20 Feb 2013 11:42:43 -0500

Hair is starting to grow in weird places, dad.

I Think the Guy Writing WebMD is an Insecure Teen

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 12:56:03 -0500

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Russian Teens Play Atop Crane

Thu, 10 Jan 2013 15:08:32 -0500

Whatever, they're probably terrified of public speaking.

Trends Through Life

Mon, 10 Sep 2012 21:18:10 -0400

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Inner Monologue of Drive Director, Nicolas Winding Refn, During Teen Choice Awards

Mon, 23 Jul 2012 17:40:42 -0400

Ahh, you smell that, Winding? That aromas mixture of aerosol body spray, deep-seeded sexual angst, and graceless marketing campaigns can't be confused for any place else; this is the Teen Choice Awards. When I leave here tonight, my movie, Drive, will definitely have won the awards and respect it deserves from young America. I mean, if this Best Director Award from Cannes says anything, it's that I'm pretty fucking good at makin' movies. There's no way these kids won't love it!

Even though the other nominees don't stand a chance, it's probably not too bad of an idea to check out the competition. You know, keep your friends close but your enemies closer. Just like in that crazy elevator scene in that one really great movie. Do you know the one I'm talking about, I think it's called Drive? Haha, just messin with ya, Nicky boy.

Alrighty, so Choice Drama nominees are…We Bought a Zoo?! Hah, like anybody saw that piece of dump. Teens want action, not single fathers and not-as-hot-as-usual Scarlett Johanssons. Does Matt Damon really need to have an identity crisis every time he's on screen. It's like he was Bourne to be typecasted. (If only there were a TCA for punny directors.)

Ok, who else do we have here? Judging from their movie posters, The Lucky One and The Vow are the same film. Hollywood should know by now that you can't just get some some hard bodied white kids to make out on camera and expect an award for cinematic greatness. I understand that teens choose the winners but youth doesn't always equate to terrible taste. American teens are young scholars, appreciators of high art and culture. But here it comes, they're announcing the winner and it's…The Lucky One?! But Drive got a 92% on Rotten Tomatoes! Whose idea was it to give these hormone-saturated fiends the right to judge my film?!

Pull yourself together, Refn, Drive still has one more nomination for Choice Drama Actor and, since horny teenage girls do all the voting, Gosling will definitely pull through. These impressionable dames are still drowning in the emotional wake of The Notebook, right? After Gosling wins, I can go back to the homeland having conquered not only Cannes but the Teen Choice Awards, too. I'll be the big cheese danish! (Score 2 for the Punmeister over her. I love myself.)

Finally, they're about to announce Rybo's win. I'm gonna feign modesty so hard when he thanks me during his speech that…EFRON?! RYAN LOST TO…to…Sac..um…Gayfron? Drive received a 15 minute standing ovation at Cannes, but I guess High School Musical got an multi-year obsessing ovation from thousands of crazy tweens. So that's the answer: Drive lost because teens have terrible taste! Yeah, I don't even want one of those stupid awards! The most honorable Teen Choice Award is no Teen Choice Award at all.

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What Midnight Looks Like at Every Stage of Your Life

Thu, 24 May 2012 06:29:57 -0400

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The Hunger Games Game

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 11:43:17 -0400

Based on the hit novels and movie, it's the new board game where girls face their biggest fears: dating and death.

Sad Kid Left Out of Kissing Party

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 12:53:06 -0500

If you think this rejection is bad, just wait until it inevitably leads to a creative endeavor.

Thug Fail

Thu, 15 Sep 2011 13:28:29 -0400

He's a thug for life, or at least until his parents tell him to stop.

Burnout Burns Car

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 13:51:25 -0400

His insurance rates just went up in a cloud of smoke.

Teen Pregnancy at its Finest

Wed, 13 Apr 2011 22:14:26 -0400

Baby or GTFO

If 16 Year-Olds Wrote the Learner Permit Test

Wed, 11 Aug 2010 15:13:56 -0400

Delaware's Most Badass High Schooler

Wed, 12 May 2010 12:05:17 -0400

Things on this dude's to-do list: 1) Ride dirt bike to part-time job at Long John Silver's, 2) Shoot bb gun at propane tank, 3) Throw rocks at sh*t.

Untitled 19

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 00:00:00 -0400

Fact: Drinking Murders Teenagers.