Pick-up Lines For The Blind
"Wanna go see a movie? Yeah, me neither." "Help, some hooligans spun me in circles and I need a sexy young thing to help me regain my orientation!" "That's odd. Your …
Questions We Wish We Could Ask An Astronaut
Can I be an astronaut, but without all that training and crap? Even though I already know the answer, just to be 100% sure, I mean I'm really just asking this for my stupid little brother, …
Rejected Coke Advertising Campaigns and Slogans
If you try something new, you might not like it It probably isn't that bad for your teeth really Take it on a picnic, but only if you have a good cooler Sometimes when you ask for Pepsi …
Super-Fun, Rainy Day Activities For Summer
Sitting inside, watching Homeward Bound trilogy on TBS Letting nature wash your car Going to the beach in hopes that it'll clear up by the time you get there, being wrong, and then driving …
Worst $25 Gift Cards
Hallmark Pottery Barn Dentist McDonald's Chili's $26 Store Sperm Bank The 25-Dollar-Per-Bottle Shampoo Shoppe Isuzu Dealership Ferrari Dealership Church Taxi …
Things We Wish We Could Major In
In alphabetical order Beard growing Being a bear Cheese Co-ed mud wrestling Complex laundry, with a minor in stripes Doing cool stuff Four square Full House Having Sex …
Things You Don't Hear Much Anymore
(In reverse-chronological order) "You should really buy a Livestrong bracelet. It's for a good cause." "Old Navy cargo shorts are never going out of style." "I'm ready to buy a new …
Poor Corporate Sponsorships
The La-Z-Boy Ultra-Marathon The Coors Light Alcoholics Anonymous Day Parade Lipitor, the cholesterol-reducing, healthy-heart medicine sponsored artificial-heart research grant The Scholastic …
National Puerto Rican Day Activities Less Festive than the Parade
John Leguizamo movie MarathonComparing colors of U.S. flag to colors of Puerto Rican flagMoment of silence in memory of Ricky MartinDiscussing Latin American Fiscal Policy Seeing West Side Story on Br …
Better Things Fat Girls Could Spend Their Money On Than Perfume
Cats Gilmore Girls DVDs Fabio emblazoned romance novels Cocaine Gym membership 17 Magazine subscription Conservative stretch pants Ben and Jerry's stock Juggling lessons …
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